Drowning
by Seelenspiel
Summary: AU Strange whispers that seem to bring the fair Elf to the brink of madness. Reality or just fleeting flickers of insanity created by Legolas' mind itself? AL slash Complete
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. The story, however, is mine. ^_^

Warning: This is a slash fic, meaning there will be a MALE/MALE relationship between Aragorn and Legolas. If you don't like that concept, please turn away now. Thank you.

Anyway, on with the fic.

* * *

_**Drowning**_

The golden figure was sitting on a wooden footbridge, his slender legs swinging softly in the bleak moisture while his fingers played with the surface of the water almost tenderly. The sun was fading away slowly, leaving the world in a brilliant shade of shimmering flames, red and black and orange. The colors illuminated the face of the fair Elf and as he looked up to welcome the last breath of the sinking sun a smile warmed Legolas' features. His blond hair was moving lightly in the wind while the autumn leaves seemed to orchestrate a charming melody of life. He removed his fingers from the water and put his hands behind his head as he laid back down, eyes closed in contentment.

Soft steps were coming up and halted just a few breaths behind his still form. "Aragorn," Legolas acknowledged when he heard the mild rustle of clothes that indicated that the person moved to sit behind him. The man answered with a silent smile and put his hands on the Elf's waist to carefully lift him onto his lap. Then he leaned his head against the smooth white skin of Legolas' shoulder and breathed in deeply.

"You smell of rain and wind. Of trees and life. It is intoxicating." The man whispered, tightening his hold around the Elf's waist, cradling him closer to his own body. Legolas raised his hands to touch the arms that were encircling him. Then he turned his head slightly and opened his eyes.

Blue orbs locked with silver ones.

"Aragorn," he repeated, the smile on his face widening, "mae govannen, melethron."

"Did you miss me?" The ranger asked, his voice low and his mouth so very close against Legolas' sensitive ear. The Elf shuddered and tilted his head backwards, resting completely against Aragorn's chest.

"Why would I miss you?" The prince of Mirkwood asked, a playful gleam in his eyes.

Aragorn smirked, then lowered his mouth to catch the pointed tip of Legolas' ear. A soft moan escaped the Elf before he could stop himself.

"Are you trying to deny it?" The ranger breathed before biting down lightly. The grip around Aragorn's hands tightened. "Do you want me to show you just how much you have missed me? "

"You... you're not playing fair," Legolas pouted, not quite sure if he should be annoyed at Aragorn's repugnance to play his game or intrigued by the way the ranger managed to switch games so effortlessly.

Aragorn chuckled, then planted a small kiss on Legolas' neck. "Am I not?"

The Elf opened his mouth to answer, but those lips against his skin were admittedly distracting and robbing him of every coherent thought. Eyes half closed he shook his head and turned around to face Aragorn.

"Do not leave me, Aragorn. Ever." Legolas finally whispered as he lifted his right hand to cup the man's cheek. The man unconsciously leaned into the touch and closed his eyes as Legolas' breath warmed his skin. "I would not survive it."

Their lips met in a gentle kiss, a simple caress of both lips, wonderful in its tenderness. The perfect union of two souls, twingling and mending.

When they parted breathless eyes locked again.

"Indeed… It does seem like I have missed you," a hushed voice admitted, a hint of amusement now in his tone.

One corner of Aragorn's mouth twitched upwards into a grin. He pulled the delicate Elf closer to his body. "I'm glad you see things my way," he said, seduction thick in voice. „It will have no wait until tonight, though, since the feast is about to begin. Lord Elrond sent me to fetch you, Legolas." And was that impatiece Legolas heard?

"Just one more minute," he said, turning his head towards the horizon again. He felt Aragorn shift against him. "Just one more minute," he repeated, "before the sun rests tonight." There was a moment of comfortable silence between them as they both relished the presence of the other. It was Legolas who finally broke the haze again.

"Aragorn?" He tilted his head to melt in the silver pool that were Aragorn's eyes.

"Hnn?"

"For what reasons do you live?" Isildur's heir looked at the prince, surprise clearly written on his face.

"What kind of question is that?"

"You never know..." he whispered. "You never know what tomorrow may bring. Even we immortals aren't immune to swords or... grief."

"Don't speak of such things, Legolas. Let us rather enjoy the gift that fate has given us. We are together, are we not?"

"Tis not what I was speaking about, Aragorn. You know I would never trade a single moment with you for anything else on Middle Earth."

"Then don't worry your heart with those bitter thoughts. I would gladly die if I were to save your life with mine." The ranger said earnestly.

"Nay!" Legolas struggled out of Aragorn's embrace to fully turn around. He took Aragorn's face in both of his hands to force the man to look at him. "Nay! Don't you know that this is exactly what I am afraid of?" Legolas's hands trembled slightly. "If you were to die I would surely follow you soon after for my heart wouldn't be able to bear the grief."

"Don't say that, a'melamin!" Aragorn cried, crushing his mouth to Legolas in a reassuring kiss. Their tongues battled with fevered heat, each one of them needing to feel the other. Minutes later they parted again, both faces flushed. Then the Elf slowly buried his head into Aragorn's shoulder.

"Goheno nin," came the muffled reply at last. "Forgive me, it was not my intention to worry you."

Aragorn stroked Legolas' back softly, trying to calm the trembling form. "Ú-moe edhored, Legolas." Legolas nodded weakly, not trusting his voice enough to speak.

Aragorn sighed. "Shh... Don't trouble yourself so, mela en' coiamin." Legolas nodded again, obviously not convinced but too tired to argue anymore. He closed his eyes once again, still leaning against Aragorn's warm skin.

"Don't leave me, Aragorn…" he mumbled, almost too soft for the ranger to hear.

Aragorn wiped a golden lock from Legolas' face. "I won't."

He could almost feel the small smile on Legolas's lips.

Slowly but surely Legolas' frantic heart relaxed and his ragged breaths became even and low again. His fingers released their dead grip on the ranger's clothes but before they fell down to the ground, Isildur's heir gracefully swept the precious bundle up, carrying the lithe form in his arms.

* * *

"Legolas." Callused hands were placed upon his shoulders. "Legolas." Clouded blue eyes slowly blinked away the sleep and tried to focus on the figure next to him.

"Legolas, wake up. We are about to leave, mellon nin." Aragorn's voice sounded amused.

Legolas unconsciously put his right hand on top of Aragorn's and frowned. "Mellon nin?" He murmured, a strange pained undertone in his voice. The haze in the Elf's opened eyes decreased as he fully came to consciousness. He hurriedly removed his hand from Aragorn's and stood up, scolding himself silently for not being able to control his emotions better. "Sorry," he muttered curtly before turning around to head for the rest of the group.

Aragorn stared after him for a second, brows knitted and hands still uprised. Then he shrugged and followed his comrade.

Legolas reached the two hobbits they were travelling with and greeted them with a smile. It had been two years since the destruction of the one ring and the fellowship had decided to meet again at Lord Elrond's house.

Aragorn had volunteered to fetch the Halflings to ensure that their journey to Rivendell was uneventful and save. On the way they had met Legolas who had immediately agreed to join them, all of them had the same destination after all.

"We should decamp. If we move with swift feet we should be able to reach the House of Lord Elrond in about three days," Legolas explained.

"Says the one who slept in," Frodo teased, mirth in his eyes.

Legolas laughed merrily. "Mayhaps the dream was too sweet to wake up," he answered brightly. He turned around and breathed in deeply.

"The forest smells of life, the birds are singing cheerfully while the trees tell of their lives. I can feel no harm coming. Let us continue our way, since everybody is awake now." He stressed the last part of the sentence, then ran forward nimbly as if to embrace the wood.

Aragorn watched the frisky Elf, a smile stealing onto his lips. He nodded to the Sam and Frodo, who were alternately looking from the man to the Elf, and gestured for them to follow.

When he caught up he turned his face to the Elf in an almost curious manner. "The sweetest of dreams you say?" Aragorn asked. "You must be right if it puts you in such a happy mood."

The Elf tensed slightly and if Aragorn hadn't watched closely, he would have missed the small spasm of muscles. Then Legolas forced himself to relax and smiled at his companion, leaving Aragorn to wonder.

"It was a blissful dream," the Elf confirmed. "Truly blissful, but just a dream nontheless."

"What was it about?" The man inquired carefully, now clearly intrigued.

For a moment Legolas stared intensively at the ranger, then he averted his gaze to look up to the sky.

"It was of the loveliest whispers and the most charming words. It was of contentment and perfection. And it was of fragility and noneternal life. It was of everything never meant to be."

Aragorn examined the Elf thoughtfully. "I should have learned by now no to ask an Elf a simple question for they will never give you a simple answer."

Legolas smiled at his words. Then he reached for a low branch and swung himself up with a grace only an Elf could ever hope to possess. For the rest of the day Legolas followed his friends in the safety of the trees.

When the moon climbed up the troop finally decided to camp for the night. Legolas jumped to the ground elegantly and turned to his comrades, who were cleaving their way into a small cave, in consideration of the dark clouds that were persistently coming their way.

"I shall take the first watch. After all it was me who got to sleep longest." He argued and the others nodded.

"Then I will take the second," Aragorn said and moved to unfurl his coat.

After a warm meal and a short talk Sam and Frodo decided to retire for the night. Aragorn took out his pipe, making himself comfortable near the fire. He looked up when Legolas announced that he would go and take a look around.

"Shall I accompany you?" The ranger asked, smoking his pipe with apparent pleasure. Then, as an afterthought: „It will rain soon."

"Nay, you need not. I would rather smell the sweet mixture of trees and flowers and honey than the foul stench of your weed." There he stopped but for a second. Then his smile became teasing and he added, almost as an afterthought: „Also I do not fear the wonders of rain." And he was gone.

The ramble through the woods was comforting. The woods were quite obviously happy to have a child of theirs in their midst and the leaves were waving their welcome. When Legolas spotted a pile of stones he made up his mind to stop his restless journey and sit down for a moment. A shimmering drop grazed his skin lightly and formed its path down his cheek The Woodland Elf breathed in deeply and opened his arms to embrace the rain.

So content in the sensation Legolas failed to hear any steps that might have been coming closer, any warning the trees were murmuring until a voice spoke up next to his ear.

"The autumn leaves sing their song and return to nothingness. Green leaves will become yellow, then finally brown with sorrow. Stifled with grief they will fall down to perish." A husky whisper and the feeling of fingers against his flawless white skin, scraping him lightly, carefully.

Legolas' eyes widened. He sensed soft lips on his neck - And then it was gone.

He turned around instantly, frantically looking from left to right. Nothing. No sound, no treacherous steps, no nothing. He must have imagined it.

He shook his head as if to shake off the gnawing feeling of foreboding. Then he stood up and decided to head back to his friends. His clothes were soaked and although Elves didn't sense the cold as much as humans or hobbits did, he still felt a chill running down his spine.

It was then his Elven senses called attention to a sweet smell of metallic nature. His eyes narrowed as he raised his hand to his throat, a bitter lump forming in his stomach.

When he removed his fingers to observe them he couldn't stop a small gasp.

The sticky moisture on his hands mixed with the rain and dropped silently to the ground. Fascinated he stared at the small red line that shimmered and flew away.

TBC

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Please review, it keeps the story going. The storyline is finished so far, but if any of you have good suggestions I will be more than happy to integrate them!!


	2. Drowning 2

_**Drowning**_

The autumn leaves sing their song and return to nothingness. Green leaves will become yellow, then finally brown with sorrow. Stifled with grief they will fall down to perish.

Legolas breathed in deeply and closed his eyes. The words were suffocating venom, a poisonous haze, which seemed to block his respiratory. He shook his head weakly to dislodge the veil that had encircled his field of vision. The sounds of his environment were oddly hollow and empty, not even the constant noise of pouring rain was able to calm his soul.

Unconsciously his steps became slower until they finally deceased when he saw the cave which they choose for tonight's hideout in front of him. His thoughts mingled, were formed anew but seemed to come to no solution in the end.

What was he supposed to say?

Imperceptibly his fingers moved up to touch the scratch on his throat.

He hadn't heard anyone, hadn't actually seen anyone either. He had just sensed the bitter smell of breath on his skin. That and a whisper in the storm that he could possibily have just imagined after all.

Then where did this wound come from? It just didn't make any sense!

He focused his attention on the sky as if it could show him an answer. After a minute of silence his shoulders slumped down slightly and he continued his way. He would ask Aragorn of his opinion. See, if the young man could come up with an explanation that seemed to elude him as of yet.

Content with this solution he entered the dark place. Frodo and Sam were still sleeping peacefully, covered in their blankets. Apparently they had moved during the night because Frodo's head was almost touching the shoulder of the other Hobbit. Legolas smiled. Surely it would be funny to see their reactions when the two of them woke up the next morning only to recognize which position they were in. It was quite obvious that their relationship was beyond mere friendship and loyality.

Then he allowed his eyes to ramble through the room until they found the person who unknowingly held his heart in such a firm prison.

Aragorn had withdrawn further into the cave and now sat on the ground, his back leaning against the wall. His head was tilted downwards as he had a long, close look at the tiny object he held in his palm.

Curious, the Elf approached the human silently and caught a glimpse of the shimmering material in Aragorn's hand. The Evenstar. Arwen's Evenstar. A promise of eternal attachment till death from the fairest and most beautiful of all Elves.

Legolas' heart skipped painfully and for a moment everything stopped. Then the emotions came crashing down and he lifted his hand to his chest and his fingers grabbed his flesh almost brutally in hope to ease to burning pain. Oh Elbereth, how he wished to tear out his heart just then because it certainly felt like he was combusting to ashes inside.

He hurried to turn his back to Aragorn and rush to the exit to get his body back under control before the human noticed his appearance. The jerky movement triggered a wave of dizziness that left him tumbling against the wall helplessly. He gasped for breath and tried support his body weight with his free hand against the rough stone. His sight was swimming and blurring at the edge, the contrasts deepening the colors darkening.

In

and out

of focus.

"Legolas?!"

Aduously he opened his eyes when he felt heavy arms on his shoulders catching him. His hands trembled in the attempt to remove the strong grip from his body.

"I'm fine," he reassured the son of Arathorn. He inhaled deeply and noticed that his breathing was slowly regulating again. "'Tis nothing." He smiled slightly to confirm his words. "Apparently this trip tired me more than I thought it would."

Aragorn's brows narrowed sceptically and his fingers touched the Elf's throat lightly, cautiously. "You're bleeding." He detected.

"Must have happenend just now," Legolas managed.

"But what could have cut you?" the ranger wondered as soon as his gaze scanned the area for Legolas' blood.

Aragorn's touch lingered for yet another moment but when it became clear that the Elf wasn't willing to speak further about the issue he sighed and removed his hand. Legolas used every bit of volition not to catch it with his own and maintain the warmth and proximity.

He closed his eyes weakly and concentrated on his breathing. In... out... in... out... He heard the soft rustle of clothes through a mist of cotton wool, when Aragorn removed his hands hesitantly and moved away. The Elf allowed his body to glide down the cold stone to the ground and finally leaned his head against the wall heavily. The throbbing in his ears was reduced to an endurable extend, the thoughts in his head however began screaming hoarsely. Louder.

What had happened just now? By Elbereth, what was happening to him?

"Drink this." Aragorn was back by his side and held a mug to Legolas' mouth and the Elf opened his lips obediently. After swallowing the mawkish liquid he shook his head, trying to erase the heaviness that took claim over his whole body. Black lashes fluttered softly, looked queringly into the grey eyes of the ranger.

"It will help you sleep." The man answered the unspoken question.

Legolas nodded, a movement so puny that it was hardly perceptible at all. Colors united in a dark tint. A fog surpressed his senses.

And finally he allowed himself to drift away into the blackness that was offered so sweetly.

* * *

The golden Elf was sitting on the wooden footbridge, his slender legs swinging softly in the black water. The sun was slowly but surely fading away, leaving the world in an almost frightening shade of shimmering flames. His silky hair was moving in the wind lightly while the autumn leaves seemed to sing a perishable melody of life.

Sighing he leaned back down and closed his eyes, banishing the false calmness from his mind and soul. He touched the sticky water with his fingers, trying to grasp what exactly it was that alerted all of his nerves and senses.

When he opened his eyes again he found himself looking into a storm of grey.

"The feast is about to begin, melamin." The ranger bent down to put a fleeting kiss on the Elf's lips. Legolas smiled softly, tracing the man's face slowly with his fingers. Aragorn seemed to be able to make the rain shine, just standing there next to him.

Aragorn chuckled and covered Legolas' hand with his own, then taking a step backwards, pulling the Elf effectively on his feet and stumbling against him.

He laughed at Legolas' perplexed features.

"I'd love to spend my time with you, alone and in private," he breathed into the Elf's ear, "unfortunately Lord Elrond will certainly look for us and I am almost sure you wouldn't like the outcome when he finally found us, melethron nin."

"True," the archer replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. "But one more minute shall not kill us. One more minute, before the sun rests in peace."

Aragorn turned his head to the last light of the day, the Elf in his arms.

"Aragorn?"

He tilted his head to melt in the deep blue eyes. "Hnn?"

"For what purpose do you live? What are your reasons?" The man looked at him, clearly surprised for a second. Then he smiled mischievously.

"Would that be a catch question?" he finally smirked. "You're more than enough reason to keep me breathing, if that's what you wanted to know."

"No, it wasn't meant to be a trick question," the Elf answered slowly. "You'll never know if there will be a tomorrow. Always living in constant fear of what will happen. Haven't you ever thought about what it is that keeps you struggling? I am an Elf, I have forever and more. But you are... mortal." And shalt you die, my forever will vanish with your death.

The last thought, however, he kept for himself, not wanting to worry his lover.

The man looked at Mirkwood's child strangely.

"Well... most certainly my family and friends. My self-esteem, my will. Joy, trust, hope, strength, the people of Gondor. There are many things that are worth pulling through everyday's struggle, Legolas. But I think even with those I wouldn't be able to live, not having you by my side. So then... so then love must be my reason to continue struggling."

_"Simply said he wouldn't be able to live without your love. The question is: Can you? Are you able to live without his love? You know it well: He doesn't love you. He loves the fair Evenstar. Can you endure seeing them together, embracing, kissing, making love? Will it be easier once you are apart? What keeps you alive? What sense is there to - live?" Cold breath against his skin. _

His head snapped up. That voice....

"Legolas?"

"We better get going. I wouldn't want Lord Elrond to chase after us for being late again." The removed his body from the Man's arms. Then he turned around and ran, leaving Aragorn standing on the footbridge, watching the Elf's sudden retreat with concerned eyes as the wind seemed to sing a hollow lullaby for them.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Legolas awoke with a silent cry. He sat up slowly and put a hand to his head, massaging his temples, willing to keep the coming headache away. The prince closed his eyes briefly.

And the laughter was so close, too close, too true, too cruel, so mocking.

He opened his eyes again, panic engulfing him. Hurriedly he studied the cave, trying to find the source of the noise. There were the Hobbits, still sleeping quietly. The ranger was away, probably outside making sure of their savety or fetching herbs.

Franctically he got up and stumbled to the cave's exit. At first he didn't recognize anything unusual. Everything was as it should be. The ground was wet with last night's rain, the sky was still dark.

Then a simple movement caught his attention.

Without a second thought he rushed forward, needing to find the source of this noise, needing to make sure that he wasn't going insane. That everything could be solved reasonably.

He ran into the woods, looking for something, anything.

There! There was a figure, male, with his back turned towards Legolas. In the back of his mind he wondered why he still couldn't feel the person's presence. This thought, however, was immediately pushed aside by the need, the exigency to uncover the stranger's identity.

"Wait!" The Elf shouted panic-stricken, when the golden haired person made a move to walk away. "Wait!!!"

The male chuckled and paused again. Then he faced the Elf and Legolas stopped mid-step.

He stared for two seconds, three. Then, finally: "What...?" He uttered weakly, confused, not able to form a simple sentence as identical eyes stared into his own.

"What..?"

His mirror image laughed again then lifted his hand in silent goodbye before he turned away while Legolas was too stunned to do anything but watch.

* * *

IMTinity: Thanks so much for your review. What happens when the plot thickens. Well... lots of suffering for poor Legolas I can assure you. ^_^

Goldmund: Thanks! I loved your feedback! Hope you like this chapter as well!

The little: Thank you for your compliment! Since this is a Aragorn/Legolas slash fiction there will certainly be more of Aragorn ;) But I'm sorry to say that the development of Frodo and Sam will mainly happen in the background....

Legolas19: Strange? *g* Trust me, it was only the beginning

Anon-101-6: Thank you! I hope this chapter will be to your liking as well.

Bruised Lady: You asked, I answered, here's the next chapter ;)

A: (great nick by the way) Happy ending? Well... I'll think about it ^_^

Gwyn: Elf angst is my favorite. Don't worry, there will be more of it *laughs evilly* Thank you!

Cerasi2: *g* Well you're right. That certainly is the way to get an update and here it is, hope you like it ;)

Jade Stellar: Thank you for your review!

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I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes in the fic, I just don't have the nerve to read through it again. Moreover English is not my native tongue, so forgive me.

Anyway! Please review! I can only improve if someone tells me what mistakes I make


	3. Drowning 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings nor do I own any of the characters. I'm merely playing with them a little. Not for any money, mind you.  
  
Author's note: I'm awed by all of your feedback and I have to thank you for it. Without you I would never get inspired enough to write on!  
  
Drowning  
  
With hindsight it would be impossible for him to tell how much time had passed since he was standing motionlessly on the same spot, starring after the figure that had long vanished into the maze of the woods. A shape that was so similar to his own, a shape that was identical to his own although it couldn't be his. For a moment he wondered if he had a twin brother but hadn't been trusted with this information. Then he dismissed this preposterous thought. Even if there was any way for him to have a twin - which there was not - it would be unnatural for his brother to look exactly like himself. The very same hair, still slightly ruffled from the weather, the left braid loosening. The very same eyes, full of expierience and wisdom. No, whoever this figure was, it was definitely not his brother.  
  
At one time or another the unmistakable noise of a cracking twig broke the spell and Legolas tensed and spun around, scolding himself for not bringing his weapons with him.  
  
The ranger stood leaning against a nearby tree, two pieces of a thin branch in one of his hands. When he noticed that the Elf finally paid attention to him he threw the dead wood on the ground and looked at him in a way that Legolas found unable to identify.  
  
"How long have you been standing there," he asked finally.  
  
The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and strode forward until both were within arm's reach. "Long enough. Ten minutes maybe?"  
  
"Ten minutes!" the Elf repeated, aghast. Ten minutes and he hadn't become aware of it. The human stood behind him for the whole of ten minutes and his senses hadn't warned him in the least.  
  
"What ails you, my friend?" He lifted his hand in a repelling gesture when Legolas opened his mouth to protest. "Do not even try to tell me that everything is fine when obviously it is not. After your patrol last night you do not seem the same anymore. Now tell me what happened out there."  
  
Before the proud Elf could answer Aragorn spoke again. "And please do not leave out why you were starring into the bushes just now."  
  
Legolas couldn't suppress a whiff of anger and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Do not speak to me in such a manner, Strider. I am no child for you to scold."  
  
Aragorn threw his hands up. "Then don't behave like one, Legolas!" he said frustrated. Immediately his features softened again and he lowered his hands.  
  
"'Tis worry for you that hardens my tone of voice, mellon nin. You are not quite yourself lately and I wish to help you. But I won't be able to do so if you do not speak to me! Unfortunately I do not possess Lady Galadriel's skills." He smiled weakly at his attempt to lighten up the mood.  
  
"Forgive me, Aragorn. I am weary and tense and I should not make you suffer for it," the Elf said, his voice softening as well.  
  
The human nodded, his face so sincere and loving it almost made Legolas weep. All he wished to do was to lean forward and capture the man's lips in a gentle kiss. Why was fate so unfair? As if it wasn't enough for him to love a mortal, who would take his immortality with him when he died. No, the mortal that he helplessly and utterly fell in love with had to be betrothed, to the most beautiful of his kind none the less. In this man lay his only chance for happiness and yet he wasn't allowed to even get a glimpse of it. He could only watch from afar as his life perished with the passing age of the human.  
  
Bitterly he turned his head away. "Aragorn..."  
  
The ranger looked at him alarmed, confusion at this sudden mood swing clearly in his grey eyes. The course of this conversation was certainly not following the way he had hoped and imagined.  
  
When the Elf locked gaze with him again he already dreaded what he was about to say.  
  
"Aragorn, I will travell to Rivendell alone from here on. Forgive me, but I need to come to terms with myself again for I fear I am loosing my grip on reality with every minute that goes by. Deliver the Hobbits my humblest regrets to leave them all of a sudden but tell them I will be more than happy to see them in two days at most, then hopefully with a lighter heart." Determination was evident in the Elf's eyes.  
  
"What about your weapons, Legolas? Will you leave them here?" Isildur's heir tried reasonably. For a minute the Elf seemed to ponder, then he shook his head.  
  
"Please take them with you. I will manage without them." He said at last.  
  
"Legolas, this is folly!" The human argued, his patience finally wearing thin. He grabbed Legolas wist and pulled him closer forcefully. The Elf cried out in surprise.  
  
"Aragorn, let me go!" Mirkwood's prince yelled, struggling against the painful grip.  
  
"Not unless you come to your senses again!" The human countered loudly.  
  
"Damn it, Aragorn, let go!" Legolas was starting to get really frustrated. His eyes flashed when he used his free hand to open the firm grip. "Aragorn you are really testing my nerves right now. Let go. Now." He hissed dangerously, but the man had other plans.  
  
And before Legolas knew what happened he found himself lying on the cold ground below, a sharp pain forming in his cheek.  
  
Wordlessly he lifted his hand to his face, tracing the burning flesh lightly with his fingertips. Then he looked up at the man, his eyes wide and uncomprehending. The ranger's hand was still raised, his mouth open in silent surprise at what he had done, at what he had dared to do.  
  
"Legolas, I...."  
  
The prince began to tremble uncontrollably. "Nay, do not say it," he mumbled, sounding so forlorn and lost. Aragorn made a move to help his friend up again and Legolas looked at the offered hand almost astonished.  
  
"Legolas, I don't know what to say, I..."  
  
The Elf ignored the man and shakily stood up on his own accord. "Do not say anything," he interrupted the ranger. Never in his life had he felt so utterly alone and shaken. And he did not know how to cope with it. As if his heart was shattering into thousand pieces, so tiny, so little that he didn't even hope to recollect all those broken shards to fix it back together again.  
  
`My heart is beyond repair` he thought calmly, with such an absolute certainty that it was frightening in itself.  
  
He took a step back, then another. Before he could analyse what he was doing he had turned around and run. Where to he had no idea. As long as it was as far away from this place as possible. In the distance he could hear someone screaming his name and loud footsteps that were following him. But he didn't stop, couldn't stop, just run. And finally after some minutes they died away, leaving him to the rushing trees and the silence in his mind. Legolas knew that the complete stillness could only be the calm before the storm. And the storm would come. Would come with such an onslaught that he wasn't sure he could take it. He could fight a battle against a superiority of Orcs and enemies but he wasn't prepared to fight a battle within himself.  
  
And so he ran, trying to escape what he knew would come. He knew he only postponed the inevitable, but if that would allow him some more minutes before he had to face it, so be it.  
  
And somewhere between now and then his lungs screamed for breath. His throat burned with the immense burden. His heart pounded mercilessly in his chest and then finally contradicted so painfully that his vision swam and blackened. Still he ran, trying to ignore the fire that pulsated through his veins. The birds had ceased their singing, the trees stopped talking. His opened his mouth in a silent plea. For them to continue their whispering or for him to start breathing again, he didn't know.  
  
And then his legs gave in and he came crashing down with full force. Unconsciously he tried to intercept his fall with his right hand to guard his face from the impact and then quickly swallowed a scream of agony when he felt his wrist dislocate.  
  
He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing regularly again, when he heard someone approach him.  
  
`Aragorn,` he thought immediately, his mind still unsettled and confused. Then the person laughed softly and Legolas felt his whole body tensing.  
  
"So much for the Elven grace," the familiar voice snorted.  
  
Legolas struggled to move, but his body defied his wish. Finally the figure seized his injured wrist and turned him around forcefully. This time Legolas wasn't able to bit back a strangled gasp. His world whirled and rotated, a strange red haze swallowed all contours and shapes.  
  
"And so much for your pride, mighty prince," his image taunted. Although Legolas was able to make out the piercing blue eyes and the light blond hair he couldn't recognize the traits of the person for it swam in and out of focus all along. He weakly turned his head to one side and closed his eyes again. His heart hurt, sweet Valar, his heart hurt so much.  
  
"Look at me when I am talking to you," the voice spat and he felt his chin being lifted up once more. Still he couldn't help it, his grip on reality was slowly fading into thankful unconsciousness.  
  
"Do you want me to slap you awake like your desirable lover did?" The figure said with a definitely dangerous edge, effectively fuelling the pain and anger in Mirkwood's youngest. He opened his lids with great effort.  
  
"Now that's much better. Seems like there is some fire left in you after all."  
  
Legolas tried to sharpen his vision but failed. He then took a breath and looked up to where he imagined the other's eyes to be.  
  
"Who are you," he croaked hoarsely at last.  
  
The person laughted heartily at that. "Who I am?" he repeated in his haunting tone. "A little slow on the uptake currently, aren't we, dearest prince." Then he paused as if wondering if he should answer at all. Finally he moved closer and nibbled on the Elf's ear lightly, overjoyed to see the prince flinch.  
  
"I am you."  
  
Shock suffused Legolas' face.  
  
"Liar!" he whispered harshly, although his voice didn't sound as firm as he would have wanted it to be.  
  
"Such naivity." His mirror laughed, then leaned down to place a light kiss on the Elf's cheek. Legolas began to struggle again and the figure released its grip on his chin and enclosed his throat tightly, strangulating his air supply.  
  
Legolas raised his heavy arms and feebly tried to loosen the iron grip which made his head spin. The red haze condensed.  
  
He opened his mouth to say something but no words would come out.  
  
The other smiled at the silent - and surely unintentional - invitation and sealed Legolas' lips with his own, slipping his tongue into the Elf's mouth.  
  
For an instant the pull on his arm became stronger, nevertheless he could only smile at his captive's attempt.  
  
"You fight like a little child, my prince. I expected better of you." He hesitated a moment, then added: "You are me after all."  
  
The grip on Legolas' throat became stronger and the Elf's eyes fluttered. The figure placed a final kiss on his lips.  
  
"Sleep now," he teased.  
  
And finally the redemptive darkness came.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
___________________________________________________  
  
Legolas19: Well, at least I gave away (some of) the stranger's identity now. I hope it isn't that strange anymore. Or at least I hope it's a good kind of strange ;)  
  
Gwyn: I like Elrohir/Legolas stories as well, but then where would all the Elf torture remain? *eg  
  
The little: You're right that's exactly where I want you *lol* You're cruel, you know that? Why not let Legolas enjoy the little salvation he gets from his dreams, he will be tortured enough throughout the story after all  
  
Anon-101-6: Does he suffer enough in your opinion? ;) Well don't worry I have hardly even begun.  
  
Jade Stellar: Here's at least a small piece of an answer as to who the mirror image is. Hope you like it ;)  
  
Tamara: Thank you. Here's your update. I hope it fullfills your expectations.  
  
Rabbit of Iron: Exactly. That's why poor Legolas has to suffer so much. ;)  
  
Goldmund: I just had to put your twin idea into my fiction, thanks for the hint ;) But no, it's not his evil twin. You must be one of the few who actually caught the fact that the figure is able to invade Legolas' dreams. Well, Aragorn does get concerned, believe me *harrharr* He will get all reason to get concerned  
  
MoroTheWolfGod: *lol* Your review was short and to the point ;)  
  
*Nikki*: No Aragorn/Legolas loving as of yet, I'm sorry. But I hope you still like the chapter ;)  
  
Zelda Saturn Mistress: You ask me to continue? You ask, I'll do of course. Here it is ^_^  
  
DewTouchedRoses: I hope this was soon enough ^_^  
  
Mrs.Sparrow: Thank you! I hope it fullfills your expectations  
  
Z: Well here's the third chapter ;) There will come more of them, don't worry. Seems like this story will be quite long.  
  
Sarah Winters: Thank you. I hope you still like it ;)  
  
Bruised Lady: Of course, if you ask so nicely ;) Here it is 


	4. Drowning 4

Disclaimer: Still don't own them. Hail to Tolkien  
  
Warnings: Only slash... for the time being  
  
I won't bore you with a note, let's just move on to the fic  
  
_______________________________________  
  
Drowning _______________________________________  
  
The first sensation he felt was incredible discomfort. His heart was pounding in his chest a little bit too forceful, pumping blood into his body in an almost painful rhythm. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if he would have to live with that pricking ache for all eternity. Too light to be an actual obstruction but still too lingering and persistent to be forgotten. A constant thrust and a constant reminder of things never to be.  
  
He moaned softly when he tried to move his limbs. His throat was sore and his wrist hurt. Good thing he didn't bring his weapons with him he thought sarcastically. He wouldn't be able to use them now anyway, they would only be a hindrance to his movements. Uncoordinated and sluggish as they were.  
  
Legolas lay still for a minute before forcing his body to sit up. Almost immediately his sight began to blur.  
  
The fair Elf brought his unharmed hand to his face and massaged his temple carefully. Some moments later he was able to blink the blinding haze away and with his returning sight came the memory.  
  
Aragorn had slapped him. Not that he had never been slapped before, mind you, his father had done a very good job at that when Legolas was still a handful youth playing mischievous pranks. He still did a very good job at that whenever Legolas was disobedient and irrational, which was fortunately few and far between.  
  
But never had be been hurt without so much as a reason. And never in his whole life had it stung so much. It wasn't even that hard, it shouldn't have made him fall to the ground. But it was unexpected and mind blowing. And it was him. Him, not just an acquaintance or a relative, but him.  
  
The emotions were too intense at that moment, he remembered, and so he had run like a gutless coward although he had identified Aragorn's voice and his footsteps behind him. It was only to be assumed that even though a ranger, he did have no chance to catch up with a hysterical Wood-Elf in his own territory.  
  
Moreover Aragorn had the Hobbits to care about, he couldn't have waisted his time to come after him all the way to wherever this place was. He had a responsibility and Legolas was more than capable to defend himself if need be.  
  
Right, Legolas thought, that must have been the reason why he ranger hadn't persecuted him. For one look around his environment told him that he was alone. No Aragorn, no Hobbits and no  
  
No mirror image.  
  
His body tensed instantly with alertness. He sprung to his feet and swayed before he got his protesting limbs back under control. He narrowed his eyes and watched more closely for any signs of movement, unconsciously slipping into a fighting position to defend himself should he be attacked.  
  
But no movement came save the leaves' slow dance in the wind.  
  
Slowly Legolas allowed himself to relax again. Then he shook his head at his stupidy.  
  
Should this figure - whoever it was - want him dead, he certainly wouldn't be standing here anymore. No, it didn't want him dead. Or at least not now. It wanted to toy with him and Legolas had to admit that it did a very good job at it.  
  
Still there were more than enough riddles left to be unsolved. How this person always managed to sneak up on him for example. There was no smell, no sound, even the trees didn't warn him of any presence. The person almost seemed to emerge from nowhere and then vanish into thin air.  
  
A mystery.  
  
Far too many mysteries for Legolas' liking. Something was definately wrong with that figure, hell something was definately wrong with this whole situation. And Legolas was going to find out what exactly it was. He would make sure of that.  
  
Determined he examined his surrounding for any hint as to where he had run. He saw his tracks on the muddy ground, it would be easy to follow them back, but he would certainly lose a good amount of time doing that. So he had come from southwest thus Imladris must be located southeasterly. He had his direction.  
  
He looked up at the sun's position. It could have hardly been midday. Probably some hours before that even.  
  
Legolas smiled. His unconsciousness had hardly last a few hours, he hadn't lost so much time after all.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
His trip went trouble-free. No incidents, no dangers and no more concourses with certain figures. He was all but ready to believe the whole last days had been a bad dream or a hallucination on his part. The forest welcomed his presence and he in turn was more than happy to be welcomed so kindly.  
  
Mirkwood's child stopped when he suddenly heard quiet snickers and the soft - almost silent - sound of feet. Noiselessly he heaved himself onto a branch which cost him quite an effort with one hand injured.  
  
The movements became louder and the melodious voices turned to laughter. A sound he knew all too well. Delighted Legolas got ready to jump down again and greet the company.  
  
"Have you seen his glare when we left him? I tell you I feared for my life for a second! The Valar be blessed his hands were still tied up!"  
  
The other held his sides laughing so hard. "I think that was the very reason he glared!"  
  
"Elladan, Erohir! What a pleasure to meet you here!" Legolas said, coming down in front of them gracefully, when they were to pass the tree he was standing on. Neither of them were surprised by the prince's presence.  
  
"Likewise, fair one. We haven't seen you for a long time. You have become beautiful indeed." The younger of the twins answered, a gleam in his eyes.  
  
"A pleasure for the eyes... and hopefully not only for them," Elladan added, grinning broadly.  
  
Legolas laughed. "That is for me to know and for you to find out."  
  
"Well I certainly wouldn't mind to find out." The smirk on Elrohir's face was almost alarming. Almost.  
  
"So what were you saying about leaving someone tied up?" Legolas changed the topic smoothly, raising an elegant brow.  
  
Both brothers grinned knowingly, seeing through Legolas' tactics immediately.  
  
"Leanôr challenged us." Elladan began.  
  
"A contest." Legolas nodded.  
  
"Right. Whoever would shoot a game first would win."  
  
"He challenged you to a hunt?" Legolas asked incredulously. "The stake must have been very low indeed for him to suggest such insanity."  
  
"The winner was to be the other's slave for one night."  
  
Legolas chuckled. "I can already imagine how the night ended!"  
  
"Yeah, well, we left him in the gardens."  
  
"Tied up."  
  
"And naked."  
  
At this Legolas couldn't refrain from laughter anymore. "Are you really Elrond's sons?"  
  
"Definately."  
  
"Most certainly."  
  
"Your father will kill you when he finds out," Mirkwood's youngest continued.  
  
"Who says he has to know?" Elrohir said winking. "He will never know unless someone tells him...."  
  
"Which reminds me that you have us at your mercy now," Elladan mused lightly. "What payback do you wish for your silence?"  
  
"Maybe you want us to be *your* slaves for one night?"  
  
"Exactly my thoughts, dearest brother. We could define the word pleasure in a whole new context with a much deeper meaning for you, lovely one."  
  
"Mayhap I do come back to your offer," Legolas teased, "but see, there is Rivendell ahead. If we hurry we will reach it towards evening."  
  
"I am looking forward to finally coming home again. It has been far too long and I cannot await the comforts of a bed!" Elladan sighed dreamily.  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
"Ada heard of some Orcs roaming through the forests. We picked them out and took care of them."  
  
"Are there more of them?" Legolas inquired. Elrohir raised a perfectly shaped brow and clasped his heart.  
  
"You hurt me with your distrust in our abilities! Speaking of abilities. Where are your weapons? I have never before seen the prince of Mirkwood unarmed." He inspected the blond haired Elf closely. "You do not even bear your knives with you?"  
  
"I left them with Aragorn, he should arrive in Imladris shortly." Legolas said sheepishly.  
  
"You left them with Estel? Dare to tell us why?" Elladan asked seriously.  
  
"I was in a hurry." The Wood-Elf answered curtly.  
  
"Since it does not seem as if you were running from danger to ask for aid, you must have been running from something else," Elladan speculated.  
  
"I do not want to talk about it. Please ask of it no more." The prince whispered and both twins narrowed their eyes. Something had happened between their beloved brother and their friend, that much was clear. They decided to grant Legolas some time by accepting his plea. But sooner or later they would find out.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir and Prince Legolas of Mirkwood. I am happy to welcome you to my home. I am glad that you arrived here savely." Elrond stepped forward to embrace his two sons, then he nodded to Legolas.  
  
"Estel is worried sick about you, Legolas. When he arrived yesterday and was told that you had yet to come we could barely convince him to wait until tonight before looking out for you. You should go meet him, he is in the gardens."  
  
Legolas' eyes widened in shock.  
  
"I thought Estel should follow after you, Legolas," Elrohir asked bemused.  
  
"I must have lost count on the time," the prince murmured. Gods, how long had he been unconscious?! A whole day? Now that he thought about it, it would explain why there weren't any marks on his throat when he woke up.  
  
Elladan took his hand in his in a caring gesture and Legolas almost flinched when the twin enclosed his injured wrist. "Has something happened to you, Legolas? You look pale. Is it because of our brother?"  
  
Legolas swallowed and softly detached his hand from Elladan's grip. "I will go and speak with him. The gardens you said?"  
  
Elrond nodded.  
  
"Then I will go there now. If you excuse me." He bowed and left the room. An awkward silence followed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The gardens were beautiful and the two figures in the middle even more so. Rough and soft. Strong and elegant. Yes, the two were truly made for one and another. They completed each other.  
  
Legolas limbs grew stiff. No matter how hard he wanted them to move they wouldn't listen. His legs wouldn't turn around, his lids wouldn't close to block out the sight in front of him. There he was. His love holding Elrond's beautiful Evenstar in his hands. And the worst was that they looked so right together. Arwen's gentle silkiness combined with Aragorn's powerful appearance.  
  
It was hopeless. No hope left. For this situation. For him.  
  
He saw them looking into each other's eyes lovingly before the ranger bent his head slightly to touch Arwen's lips with his.  
  
He had to get away. Elbereth, he had to get away and fast, before his legs gave in, before he collapsed clutching his hands to his chest, screaming in pain.  
  
A subtle cough arrested his attention and the prince tilted his head to the right. Panic arose, swiftly and deadly when he saw whom exactly he had heard. A familiar - too familiar! - figure was leaning against the tree behind Aragorn, smirking. The deep blue eyes were riveted on his own. He looked triumphant, as if he knew what was to come, as if he summoned Legolas to go, to do what he expected.  
  
And Legolas loathed that look. It made him feel transparent and vulnerable.  
  
He wondered why neither Aragorn, nor Arwen had sensed the presence behind them, but then again they hadn't sensed his presence either. He glimpsed at their smiling faces once more, then turned around forcefully and ran back to Elrond's house.  
  
'Coward' his mind yelled. This was your chance to get rid of this figure, this was your chance to overpower this figure, this was your chance to finally find out who it was!  
  
But his heart answered that it didn't care who it was, that if he hadn't run now, it would have denied its service. Already it slammed in his body, seemed to burst any second now.  
  
He didn't pay attention where he was running when he bumped into a muscular body. His left hand was caught to steady him and Legolas was thankful that it hadn't been his right one for a moment.  
  
"Easy there, lovely one." Came Elrohir's astonished voice. He moved forward and embraced the prince's trembling form tighly.  
  
"Shh, what happened to make you so unsettled?" he soothed, stroking his back with one hand in a calming manner.  
  
"Legolas?" asked the second twin and the fair haired Elf felt Elrohir shake his head against his shoulder. So instead of requesting another answer from the muddled Elf he approached him from his back and put his arms around him while laying his head on his other shoulder.  
  
Legolas felt the warmth of the two, felt the love they radiated.  
  
"Make love to me," he whispered.  
  
And the figure leaning against the tree smiled victoriously.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
* _____________________________  
  
AN: I am sorry but I absolutely don't feel like reading the whole chapter through for any mistakes again. I bet there are plenty but please bear with them. Perhaps at another time I will pull myself together and correct them all but certainly not now. I am not really content with this chaper, but I don't feel like changing that either. As I said before, perhaps at another time, but not today.  
  
MoroTheWolfGod: It's kinda difficult to update regularly with both school and job, but until now I think I managed quite fine. I hope it didn't take to long for your liking.  
  
Zelda Saturn Mistress: Here's your update ;) Hope you like it  
  
Cerasi2: It would be too easy *g* Thank you for your review!  
  
Anon-101-6: *g* you're almost there with your assumption. I have planned something slightly different, but I must admit that I have also thought about it! Thanks for the review!  
  
*Nikki: Thanks! So here's the update! Hope you still want for more!  
  
Riva van Dyk: Thank you! Updated soon enough?  
  
The little: It's fascinating that there are some people out there who are as confused and corrupted as I am *lol* thank you for your review!  
  
Gwyn: See! Just for you! Elrohir and Legolas!! (and Elladan) It wasn't actually planned for the story, but well, if you ask so friendly I almost have to give in, don't I? ;)  
  
RuByMoOn17: Here's your update! Thanks for your review!  
  
Legolas19: Well I am reassured that it's a good kind of strange ;) Thanks for the review!  
  
S4r4: I hope that I updated soon enough ;) Yep, the contrast is for entertainment. Wouldn't it be boring if evething went well and you would get what you wanted immediately. Where would be the motivation to fight for it?  
  
Jade Stellar: I have never watched Fushigi Yugi, I'm sorry O_o But I think you will be in for a surprise, when the figure's true nature comes out ;) At least I hope so...  
  
Goldmund: the "my prince" part is mainly a derision. I can't tell you who the figure really is right now, it would diminish all the tension, sorry ;) disturbed about the Legolas image kissing Legolas? Then just wait what I have planned! *evil laugh* Thank you so much for your review!  
  
Crazy-lil-nae-nae: Thanks for the review, I hope I updated soon enough for your liking ;) 


	5. Drowning 5

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine  
  
AN: Damn scene took me quite some time  
  
Warnings: The rating is not R for fun. Sexual content here. Don't read it if you feel offended by male/mal intimacy!!  
  
__________  
  
Drowning  
  
__________  
  
Elrohir slowly lifted his chin from Legolas' shoulder to look into the younger one's blue eyes inquiringly. The Wood-Elf was shivering ever so slightly, then he turned his head away to look onto the floor. He could feel Elladan's body stiffen against his back.  
  
"Shall your offer still stand, that is..." he said slowly, insecurity creeping into his voice.  
  
Elrohir cupped the blond one's face with his palms and softly forced him to look up. They watched each other for an eternity then the twin's lips curved up into a wonderful smile. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Legolas', their lips almost touching.  
  
"It would be our honour, my prince."  
  
Legolas' eyes widened at the all too familiar endearment, but before he could react to it, he felt Elrohir's tender lips on his own. It was a kiss free of any passion, rather with the goal to taste each other for the first time. Legolas closed his eyes to savor the twin's skilled ministrations, when he suddenly became aware of Elladan's fingers slipping under his tunic, playing with the outline of his fabric. The elder brother then captured his ear with his mouth and sucked lightly. Legolas' body responded immediately by aching his back and leaning further into the twin. He gasped when Elladan first nibbled, then bit into the pointed edge of his ear and Elrohir took the invitation for what it was and slipped his tongue into the warm mouth of the prince, deepening their contact and igniting the flames of passion.  
  
Then the twin drew back from their kiss and locked eyes with his brother, a smile still gracing his face. "I think it is time to move to a chamber, brother dearest." He stroked Legolas' face lightly and the Sindarin Elf opened his eyes halfway.  
  
Legolas felt Elladan's hands withdraw from his stomach only to be replaced on his wrist.  
  
"Let us hurry then." He breathed against Legolas' sensitive ear before gently tugging on his hand, moving him to the direction of the twin's room.  
  
The chamber was not small nor huge. Wooden funitures served to decorate the place, creating a warm atmosphere. On one side of the wall there was a bow, beneath it a shelter with some arrows in it, both properly nursed and oviously often used. In the middle of the room was a bed, from its position nearly directly under the huge window, Legolas anticipanted that whoever twin this room belonged to was kissed by the sun every morn when dawn broke above Imladris. To the left there was a connecting door, probably to the bathroom. It was wooden as well with a finely crafted carving on it.  
  
"I take it you like my room, pen-vain [beautiful one]," Elladan said, leading the amazed prince to the bed.  
  
"More like our room, gwanunig [twin brother]," Elrohir contradicted with a laughter in his voice. "I sleep here quite often, keeping my poor brother company in his lonely nights," he then explained. Suddenly his face turned serious. "Father must not know. Nor anyone else. Although bedding males is natural among our kind, the love between the own blood is not highly looked upon. We trust you with this secret, promise us you will keep it well."  
  
"I promise on my honour that no word will escape my lips concerning your relationship," the prince answered without hesistation.  
  
Elrohir's face instantly turned playful at the blonde's words. "Nothing less was expected from you, fair prince. Nevertheless," he added slyly, almost as an afterthought, "nevertheless it is not a word I long to hear from your lips right now."  
  
In one fluid motion he glided forward and placed both hands on the Sindarin's shoulders, bringing him down onto the bed. He bend over the prince's lithe form to seek again the contact he lost during their way here.  
  
Elrohir ran his tongue over Legolas's lips, pulling away when the prince sought to deepen the contact. Finally Thranduil's youngest moaned in frustration and put his arms around Elrohir, trying to close the distance.  
  
"Greedy aren't we?" Elrohir teased before crashing his lips down onto Legolas' forcefully, granting the prince what he silently pleaded for. He was allowed entrance immediately and took the invitation to sweep his tongue inside.  
  
When the mattress was pressed down lightly Elrohir drew back looking at his twin with a smirk.  
  
"He tastes wonderful," he stated. The other raised one eyebrown.  
  
"Indeed so? Mayhaps I just have to see for myself in case you judged wrongly, gwanur melui [lovely brother]." He bent forward to place a single kiss on Legolas' forehead, then moving down, tracing the face until he reached the desired goal.  
  
"You two truly are a sight to behold." Elrohir grinned, watching both Elves kiss fiercly. He moved down and placed a hand on Legolas' waist, removing his tunic just a little to gain access to the pale skin underneath. He guided his fingertips with feather light movement and felt Legolas' heart beat faster in return.  
  
"Still I would appreciate it, if there were not all those unneccessary cloths between us. Dare I assume it might be quite hot in them?" He pushed the green fabric of Legolas' tunic up to prove his point. Elladan released his captive's lips and moved back, watching his brother motionlessly, like a cat lurking for its prey.  
  
"You were right," he murmured then, "he really is delicious. And we haven't even tasted all of him yet."  
  
Legolas drew himself up on his elbows and smiled seductively. With one fluid movement he sat up and reached for Elladan's tunic, yanking it above the twin's head and tossing it to the ground, uncaring where it landed.  
  
He eyed the exposed skin and then whispered, "beautiful..."  
  
"Well, I am glad you are satisfied," Elladan laughed, his tune light. "But you should seriously consider undressing yourself or I might just have to tear off your clothes. And while Elrohir here could always borrow mine until he reached his chambers without somebody noticing it, I am quite sure that people would indeed wonder why the prince walked around in the clothing of the Lord's son."  
  
Smirking Legolas undid the clip of his cloak. "At least you would not let me walk back naked. Now that would write history!"  
  
"Enough talk, fair prince," Elrohir said suddenly and Legolas abruptly became aware that the twin had already removed his clothes. The younger brother changed position and came down on Legolas' lap, effectively confine his legs in between his own. Before Legolas knew what happened, Elrond's son had already raised his arms and rid him of his tunic. He pushed Legolas back on the bed and looked over his shoulder to see his twin brother behind him, already stripped as well. Erohir grinned at him, placing one arm on his brother's stomach while leaning down to the prince, slowly moving his other hand up to imitate the touch he was already performing on his brother. He earned a similar reaction from them both: closing of eyes, hitching of breaths. He almost laughed at how alike they looked in their passion, and how very different they still were. His brother a dark and his prince an innocent seducement, although he definately had his share of lovers, if his ability to kiss was any indication to it. They also smelled differently. While his brother was of lavender and fresh wind the other was of rosewood and vanilla. Both of them shockingly intoxicating.  
  
Deciding to taste more of it, he helped his brother removing Legolas' boots and his breeches, enabling them the alluring sight of the prince's well shaped body underneath them.  
  
"Perfect in every way." Elladan whispered. He approached Mirkwood's child and slowly caught on peak with his mouth, encircling it with his tongue, while pinching the other with his hand. Legolas sucked his breath, his body leaning into the caress.  
  
"So you like that?" Elrohir asked slyly, joining his brother by raking his nails over the smooth skin. Legolas answer was a soft moan which escaped his lips before he could stop it. Elrohir laughed and withdrew. Elladan would take care of the prince for now that he was sure of - and he was able to say that he could certainly speak from own experience. He slid off the bed and went to the nearby desk, opening one drawer and bringing forth a small flask. He opened it and the room was immediately filled by an almond- orange-ish smell. Then he resumed his place behind his brother. Elrohir poured a good amout of the fragrant liquid on his hands before bringing his hand on his Elladan's back, kneading his flesh softly.  
  
His brother purred against Legolas' skin, the vibration sending electricity through the Sindarin Elf. He moaned again - louder this time - and raised his hand to Elrohir, slowly stroking the twin's length with skillful movements.  
  
"Ai, Elbereth...."  
  
Elladan took the bottle from his brother and rubbed the oil into his hands. A shiver ran through Legolas' body when he felt the enticing touch on his shaft, moving in a steady rhythm, deliberately slow. He tried to thrust his hips against the twin in order to speed up, but the other held him firmly around the waist with his second hand.  
  
"Saes... saes,"  
  
"Patience, Legolas, the best is yet to come."  
  
Suddenly Elladan threw his head back when his brother flicked his tongue against his opening, teasing and stretching slightly. When he removed his tongue only to insert some fingers he felt his knees give in. Elrohir slowly laid his brother on the bed and winked at Legolas who had been watching them silently with passion-filled eyes.  
  
"He is ready for you, pen-vain."  
  
Legolas grinned. He placed a feverish kiss on Elrohir's lips before taking place between Elladan's knees. Swiftly he moved Elladan's tighs over his shoulder and positioned himself. With one fluid movement he entered the twin's heat, groaning at the tightness and warmth.  
  
He sensed Elrohir behind him, preparing him with his fingers. And then the wisdom came. Surely Elrohir wouldn't while he was still...  
  
His sudden scream was immediately stopped by Elrohir's hand on his mouth.  
  
"Shh, melethron, or everyone will hear of our nightly activities [lover]," Elladan whispered. When Legolas nodded he released his hold and moved his hand instead on Legolas' hips, holding him in place. Then he withdrew und pushed forcefully back into Legolas' heat. Again and again, each thrust faster than the former, stronger than the former, leaving all three of them gasping for air and trembling for more.  
  
"Come for us," was the last whisper Legolas heard before the night danced with the light and the stars sang with their union. They collapsed, shivering and too exhausted to move.  
  
Legolas shook his head weakly, trying to fight the soothing darkness. As if reading his mind, Elrohir circled his waist and embraced him tightly.  
  
"Sleep here, my lovely. We will awake before dawn and you will have enough time to get to your chambers unnoticed."  
  
Relieved Legolas nodded, sighing deeply. For the first time in ages he actually felt content and warm. A good feeling, he decided when he finally yielded to sleep, his eyes loosing their sparkling shimmer and becoming vacant.  
  
------------  
  
The first thing he noticed was the sun shining into his eyes. His orbs slowly came into focus and he looked around, feeling strangely disoriented.  
  
'Not my room,' was his first coherent thought. 'The sun warms my room in the afternoon.'  
  
With this cognition his senses set in again. Dark hair, sweat, so sweet. The twins. He was in Elladan's room. Pleased with this knowledge he leaned back again, enjoying the motionless hands on his skin.  
  
A moment later he opened his eyes again.  
  
Morning! They had overslept!  
  
And as if to confirm his realization he heard voices outside the door, humming and singing, walking and talking softly in the early hours after dawn. Just as he was about to get up from the bed and leave he heard a sharp knocking at the door. Before he had even the chance to answer the door was opened and a familiar figure entered.  
  
"Elladan, have you seen Legolas somewhere, I went to his chamber and...." shocked grey eyes met blue ones and Aragorn trailed off, visibly at a loss for what to do. His eyes wandered from Legolas form to the blinking twins.  
  
Elrohir shielded his face from the sun. "Estel?" he muttered drowsily.  
  
"I'm... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to - I didn't know!" the ranger apologized flustered.  
  
"Aragorn, wait, let me explain," Legolas said, panic creeping into his voice.  
  
"I don't thinkg there is anything left to explain, Legolas," Isildur's heir shook his head weakly, numbly, "I will... take my leave now. And..." He shook his head again, his hair mimicing his movement. He turned around and closed the door, vanishing from Legolas' view.  
  
"Don't worry, Legolas. Arwen and Aragorn have caught us kissing once. We already told them that there is more than brotherly love between us and they hold no grudge against us." Elrohir tried to calm the hyperventilating Elf.  
  
Legolas jumped out of the bed and grabbed his clothes, pulling them on in a hurry and rushing for the door.  
  
No, no, no, please, Elbereth, no... his mind screamed over and over again, while his eyes tried to seek out Aragorn. He was nowhere to be seen and Legolas knew that if the ranger didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be found. Elbereth, why...  
  
The Elf raised a shaking hand to his head and then made his way to the gardens. Solitude would help him to cope with the situation he hoped. Would help him clear his head.  
  
Shakily he sat down on the grass, drawing his knees up to his chest. Now he had lost it all. As if it wasn't enough that love was an impossible issue for him. Now Aragorn's friendship was one as well. After having seen him with his two brothers... what would Aragorn think of him? A whore? A slut?  
  
He had forfeit Aragorn's respect for a single night of freedom and happiness. But what was one moment of bliss against the darkness that was there to follow.  
  
"Deep in thoughts my prince?" a familiar voice taunted and Legolas wanted to scream.  
  
"Not now. Saes, not now," he said quietly, as if to himself. Blue eyes filled with anguish and sorrow looked up to see their ice cold counterparts.  
  
"You truly fucked up, this time, didn't you," his image continued, as if he hadn't heard Legolas. As an old friend would, the figure sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Legolas didn't find the strength to react.  
  
"Want me to tell you something?" The other said lowly, moving closer to the Elf. Legolas shook his head weakly.  
  
"Well, too bad, cause I will tell you anyway." With his second hand he removed a strand of hair from his face.  
  
"Do you know he broke up with her?"  
  
Now Legolas' eyes widened. He stared at his own reflection.  
  
"Don't look at me, it's true. He broke up with her yesterday." The cold Elf laughed loudly. "He broke up for you! He told her so himself! He left the Evenstar for you!"  
  
Legolas' body began to tremble uncontrollably.  
  
"She had asked him to hold her one last time. To let her engrave this memory to her heart so that she would have a part of him forever with her. She asked him for a last kiss. And after all she had done for him, he granted her this wish."  
  
"You lie..."  
  
"And this was the scene you walking into. Seeing them kissing. And I could barely keep myself from laughing. All because of a silly misunderstanding. You lost everything because of a silly misunderstanding!"  
  
"You lie! You lie! You lie!!!" he sobbed, clutching his heart.  
  
The other removed his hand from Legolas' shoulder and stood up.  
  
"You could be his and you have messed up everything. This was your last chance, I hope you realized this." He leaned down, smiling smugly.  
  
"You could have been his. And now you're mine." 


	6. Drowning 6

Warning: Same as before Disclaimer: Same as before AN: Sorry, somehow my internet didn't work properly.  
  
_________________  
  
Drowning  
  
________________  
  
He found himself sitting on a wooden footbridge, some splinters picking into his bare feet. The water underneath was dark red, almost black in its intensity.  
  
'Like gore,' Legolas suddenly pondered. It had never caught his eyes before that water would turn bloody with the sinking sun. As if a battle had been fought and the shed liquid warmed the water.  
  
A cementery without corpses.  
  
When the wind blew his golden hair into his face he became aware of how chilly it had become in this late hours. The sun refused the warmth it was expected to grant as well as the light it was supposed to give. Legolas wondered if the sun took flight from the world. As an Elfling he had always believed sun to be hope for a new beginning. Now he wasn't too sure of that anymore.  
  
He leaned his hand against the wood to steady himself into a standing position, but as soon as his fingers left the bridge his knees gave in and his whole body crashed down again. He started shivering.  
  
The air was reeking of fresh rain. And of coagulated blood. A mixture of them both and it was making his stomach contradict painfully. He crept to the edge in case he should have to vomit.  
  
"Legolas, are you alright?"  
  
Legolas wanted to laugh at Aragorn's question. He could imagine that he certainly did look anything but alright right now with his head over the wood and his hands securely around his belly.  
  
"It smells of blood," Legolas stated quietly when the ranger coaxed him onto his lap. He sighed softly and let his head fall on the human's chest. He riveted his eyes to the horizon.  
  
"Everyone is dead."  
  
Aragorn shifted behind him uncomfortably, clearly uncertain as to what he should do, not knowing what to make out of Legolas' rambling. He worriedly placed a hand on Legolas' forehead.  
  
"Elves do not get sick, Estel," the Silvan muttered slightly indignant.  
  
"Forgive me," the humanking smiled against his hair. "Now shall we head back home? The feast is about to begin in merely an hour."  
  
"What feast?" The prince turned huge eyes to the ranger. "Do you not see? Everyone is dead. The water is full of their blood."  
  
"I think I'll get you to ada now," Aragorn said concerned.  
  
"For what purpose?" came the Elf's sharp reply.  
  
"For him to take a look at you. You worry me. Very much so, melamin."  
  
Legolas took a heavy breath before burrying his face into Aragorn's silken clothes. "But he is dead," the Elf then sobbed, clutching the soft fabric with an iron grip.  
  
"Nobody is dead, Legolas. I... do not understand what you are talking about...." The human was slowly growing frustrated. Never in his life had he seen the prince of the Woodland Realms so frightened and confused. He put a soothing hand on the Elf's back and moved it in lazy circles, knowing it would calm the fair being down. He was proved right, when Legolas finally relaxed against him, his tense muscles finally loosening up. He nodded against Aragorn's chest and looked up, over the human's shoulder.  
  
Dead corpses. Shattered pieces. Blood. So much blood!  
  
/More! More! Gore!/  
  
Legolas eyes widened.  
  
"You lied!" he screamed. "You lied! They are all there. In a sea of red. Oh Elbereth, a blood red sea!"  
  
_________________________  
  
Legolas awoke with a silent scream on his lips. His eyes searched his surroundings frantically. Then he put a hand on his forehead.  
  
'Again', he thought. 'The same dream again. No, not a dream. What once had been a wonderful illusion has now turned into a nightmare which aggravates every time I dream it again."  
  
He sighed, then shifted his body to stand up from the bed.  
  
"I think I shall go insane if this continues. On second thought tough I might already be insane. Who would have ever heard of a person that resembled one in every way possible?" His whisper remained unanswered and Legolas sighed again.  
  
"No one would believe me if I told them. They would make me a liar and madman. Dear Valar, what would Aragorn say, should he hear about it? If he even talks to me at all anymore."  
  
He suddenly punched the wall with his fist.  
  
"Why?! What have I done to deserve this?!"  
  
As soon as the anger came it was replaced by determination.  
  
No, he would not give up. Not now, not when there was still a chance to make everything right again. Not when there was still the possibility to talk to Aragorn and explain his side of the story.  
  
Resolutely he moved to the chair, fetched his clothing and got dressed. Barely a minute later he was out of the room and in search for the ranger. He wanted to try Aragorn's chamber first for that would be the most likely place to find the manking, but when he knocked at the door, he got no answer. He stood still for a moment and listened carefully.  
  
No, the room was empty. Then where could Aragorn have gone?  
  
"Legolas?" A familiar voice stated, a hint of surprise and sadness in it. The prince turned around and came to face with the beautiful Evenstar. Her pale skin was mostly covered by a long white gown that accentuated her face and most of all her blue eyes. Legolas could not help but notice the wetness in them although he was quite sure Arwen tried her best to smother it up. That alone caused a stab of pain through his chest.  
  
Elrond's daughter had been crying so much was clear. And he would be a fool if he didn't know the reason for her tears. Suddenly he could not bear to look at her anymore. Elbereth, he was the very reason this wonderful being was mouring. How could he even think about going to Aragorn to righten things. How could he even wish to be with the man the Evenstar loved, the man she gave up her very immortality for!  
  
"That's right. You are not worthy. Not of her sacrifice and not of him."  
  
Legolas' head snapped around to look at his own eyes, barely some feet right to him. He opened his mouth to reply when Arwen's voice interrupted him.  
  
"Legolas? Are you alright?" There was a sudden concern in her voice that had not been there before. For a moment Legolas had to fight the urge to laugh at her words. How much her words resembled Aragorn's in his dream.  
  
Then his senses kicked in and he stared at her in wonder. Then looked to his right again and back to her. She followed his viewing direction confused.  
  
"Legolas?" In her voice there was now a conspicuous hint of alert.  
  
'She cannot see him! She cannot see him!!!'  
  
The figure next to him began to laugh. "Took you long enough," his mirror image gasped between his fits of laughter. Legolas wanted to cover his ears with his hands to keep out the disturbing sound.  
  
Helplessly his eyes wandered once more to his double, then back to the Evenstar. For the first time in his life he wished to just curl up in the dark corner in his room and forget everything.  
  
He closed his eyes briefly and tried to collect himself again. The figure was still laughing beside him.  
  
He took a deep breath and looked at Arwen again.  
  
"I am sorry, I have not slept well this night. Please forgive me my manners, fair Undomiel. I wish you a good morning." Legolas was relieved that his voice sounded calm and firm in spite of everything. Still he could still feel the Lady's suspicion.  
  
His sensitive ears caught up the light noise of footsteps and he had to force himself not to turn his head around. He heard a low chuckle.  
  
"Why, my prince. Mayhaps you are really going insane? Mayhaps I am nothing but your imagination? But then again you would be my imagination as well, for we are one. You are me, I am you. You are mine."  
  
Valar, he could feel the creature's breath on his neck. His pulse quickened. 'Do not turn around, do not turn around,' he chanted like a silent prayer in his head.  
  
"Have you talked with Aragorn yet?" Came the sudden sound from Arwen. His double laughed again before leaning his head on Legolas' shoulder and tracing his spine with his fingers. The Elf began to tremble.  
  
"I... was just looking for him. I wanted to ... agologize." His body shook, his voice faltered. The figure slipped his hand under his tunic.  
  
"Apologize?" She asked, now laced with worry. "Legolas you are shivering all over. What is wrong with you? Did you and Aragorn have a quarrel?"  
  
'Oh, how right you are,' Legolas wanted to shout, 'and how far from it just now.'  
  
"Ai... we had a ...confrontation," he agreed. His mirror image meanwhile combed through his hair, humming softly. "Please, do you know where I can find him?" Legolas said in a rush, barely controlling himself not to shrug off the persistent and disturbing touch of the other. Barely controlling himself from screaming.  
  
"Yes, I saw him at the practise ground when I took a walk this morning. Hardly more than an hour should have passed since then. I image you would still find him there."  
  
Gratitude shone in Legolas' eyes. "I offer you my thanks, Arwen of Imladris!"  
  
Without waiting another minute he freed himself from the poisonous grip and ran down the corridor. Arwen stared at his disappearing form, a frown on her beautiful face.  
  
__________  
  
Aragorn threw a number of punches at an invisible enemy. His muscles flexed under the strain, salty pearls of sweat covering his broad body. His movements were in harmony, a perfect performance of a deadly dance, wonderful and amazing.  
  
Legolas watched his form from the distance with awe.  
  
Powerful and nevertheless - or maybe exactly for this reason - so absolutely tempting in his grace. Filling him, taking him in to never let him go again. His perfect shaped figure, seducing him to touch this strong body, this shimmering mind. A silver flame, shining so brightly, enlightening the darkness that sought a claim around his heart. This fierce spirit, carrying away fear and sorrow only to leave the brillance of Aragorn's inner self. The true king of mankind.  
  
Yet the ranger seemed slightly disturbed today. His manners were a little bit more forceful, his punches a little bit too hard. As if he was trying to push himself beyond his own breaking point.  
  
Legolas watched his appearance closely.  
  
Ai, something was definately different. The look on his face was faintly distant. A breath of withdrawal on his features.  
  
The Wood-Elf knitted his eyebrows.  
  
Valar, that made his decision to talk to him all the more difficult. As if it wasn't hard enough as it was already!  
  
Closing the distance between them, he almost expected the ranger to turn around and greet him with his usual smile. No, wait. On second thought he didn't expect that to happen after all that happened in the twin's room.  
  
He didn't seem to be aware of his presence however, still forcing his seemingly exhausted body to continue, pushing and pushing without even granting himself a moment of rest.  
  
Frowing Legolas slowly moved to stand by his side, clearly in mind to remove whatever agony he might feel from Aragorn's soul.  
  
When the ranger striked out to throw yet another punch the Elf interrupted his training by simply moving his hand upwards to catch Aragorn's swing.  
  
Aragorn's head whipped around and surprised grey eyes met blue ones.  
  
"Legolas..." he muttered astonished. "I have not heard you approach."  
  
The Elf only smiled. "You would not," he said as if it was as simple at that. Then again to Legolas it was as simple as that. A second later the immortal's features darkened. "Estel, I wish to talk to you. Will you spare me a moment of your time?"  
  
The man hesitated and Legolas had to close his eyes when a sudden cold ran through his body. Never before had the ranger considered if a conversation between them was desireable or necessary. Never before had he had the need to.  
  
"I do not know if this is a good idea, right now. I am in the midst of my training...." he trailed off lamely, not even convincing himself. Legolas opened his heavy lids again. Why did it seem as if the world suddenly became so much darker, the sun somewhat bleary?  
  
"It is an urgent matter, mellon nin." Oh how he despired that word, that destroyed his hopes every time the ranger spoke it. But right now it seemed like the only goal Legolas was still able to reach. To at least save their friendship repaired. "About the other night-"  
  
"Legolas, you need not justify yourself in front me of all people. I will not judge you, nor will I spread your secret."  
  
"Nay! I never questioned your discreetness! I wanted to talk about-"  
  
Aragorn raised his hands slowly. "Please let it be, Legolas. I cannot bring myself to speak of it just now. The confusion is still too near, I never expected..." he trailed off helplessly. He sighed and made a move to pass Legolas.  
  
'No, no, do not walk away now!' The Elf made a move to follow the ranger's step.  
  
"It did not mean anything!" he exclaimed desperately. Aragorn froze.  
  
"Please, believe me, it did not mean anything to me! I did not know how to cope with the situation anymore! I hoped to get away from all of it, even only for a while." Isildur's heir stood still. No reaction.  
  
At last Legolas whispered, "it haunts me, Aragorn."  
  
Again a moment of silence. Then Aragorn turned to Legolas again.  
  
"What haunts you? I barely recognize you anymore, my friend. What haunts you?"  
  
A pause. A sigh. And an emotion Aragorn had never before seem on the fair Elf's face.  
  
"My mind it seems. My mind haunts me."  
  
Resignation.  
  
___________________  
  
Cerasi2: well, here finally is something for your legolas/aragorn desire ;) thank you very much for your review and sorry it took me so long.  
  
Apom: Wow, ich glaub du bist die erste Person, die sich doch tatsächlich mal getraut hat mich auf deutsch anzusprechen (obwohl man meine Nationalität eigentlich doch sehr gut aus meinem Nick herauslesen kann) Und nein, es ist kein Trick, in meiner Story sind die beiden ab jetzt nicht mehr zusammen (obwohl ich das natürlich wieder ändern könnte *g) nein, schmarrn, es ist notwendig für die story, dass sich beide trennen (und sei es nur, damit das Ende dann umso schlimmer wird) wer Legolas Spiegelbild ist, kommt noch ausdrücklich heraus, wrd ja eigentlich schon immer stärker angedeutet (komisch, dass da bis jetzt noch niemand drauf gekommen ist... ;) ) Vielen Dank für dein Kommentar!  
  
Anon-101-6: I know they don't use the word fucked in that period, but as you will find out Legolas double doesn't really belong in that world (to ease your worries: no he is definately not from another world. I just took the liberty to interpret some things of Tolkien's world quite.. freely *g*) Anyway: thank you for your review!  
  
Anawiel: Well I haven't gotten further with Chobbits than the first chapter, sorry. But to answer your question: No, they're not dark and white. Well, in a way they are, because their personalities differ slightly, but do not worry: all will be revealed in the coming chapters!  
  
Many thanks to: Riva van Dyk, Legolas19, Gwyn, Zelda Saturn Mistress, Kaylie, Lantarmiel (wow, thanks so much!), Shadow41, SireenC, MoroTheWolfGod, Jade Stellar, Naitriab (just put me on your author's alert list and you will automatically get an email when the story is updated)  
  
Thanks for your reviews, you keep the story going!!!! 


	7. Drowning 7

Disclaimer: Belongs to the holy and mighty Tolkien  
  
Warnings: Oh this is gonna get really bad. If you are fragile at heart please turn back now (if you haven't already) slash, incest, threesome, major angst. And more to come, believe me  
  
AN: Holidays! Finally! More time to write! I watched RotK some days ago and in a way it fits into my story and in another way, well, it doesn't. So I declare this story now ultimatively: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE  
  
Anyway on with it!  
  
______________________  
  
Drowning  
  
______________________  
  
"Your mind?" Aragorn repeated flustered. He would have expected many answers, but this one was surely not one of them. For a moment he looked vainly for appropriate words, then at last he simply said: " I do not exactly understand what you are implying. Could you explain more precisely?"  
  
Legolas had anticipated this question. Oh yes, he had anticipated that he would have to tell Aragorn everything before they could build up a basis - and be it only the basis for a friendship. He had to show his trust before receiving trust in return, he knew that. But now, now that this moment had finally come, he was afraid. Afraid to make a big mistake, one which he would regret for the rest of his life. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to win Aragorn's trust, but rather lose everything in the progress, everything that was still left between them - even now.  
  
Who knew if Aragorn would not react repelling when he found out. Who knew-  
  
'Stop it! Stop thinking about those things! It is Aragorn whom you speak of. He would not react that way!'  
  
But in his heart remained a spark of doubt.  
  
'And also a spark of hope! Let him live up to his name. Let him guide you out of your darkness and be your hope.'  
  
Legolas tightened his shoulders. "Could we go to another place first? To a place that is quieter and remoter? I-"  
  
"Sure," interrupted him Aragorn, who recognized his uncertainty for what it was. Who recognized that his Elven friend still needed some time to commit himself to his care. Maybe time to find the right words. "At the river there is a small wooden footbridge. It is only morn, there should be noone around. Do you know the place?"  
  
Legolas' heart jumped heavily.  
  
"A... wooden footbridge at the river?" Legolas repeated through sallow lips.  
  
//More! More! Gore!//  
  
"Ai, I know the place.... very well even..." he turned his head slowly into the direction in which he presumed their destination.  
  
Aragorn noticed the sudden change in his companion's mood instantly. "If you would prefer to go to another place..."  
  
"Nay. Every place is as good as the other."  
  
'Still some are worse than others,' a voice in his head whispered.  
  
Aragorn nodded and carefully took Legolas' hand into his own. He saw the astonished stare of Mirkwood's child and gave him a small smile. "Come, mellon nin, unfortunately our time is short. There are still many preparations for today's feast to be made."  
  
Legolas looked up and again Aragorn recognized uncertainty in his eyes. 'What has happened to you, Legolas? What has changed you to this degree?'  
  
"Then maybe we should postpone our conversation. I would not want to detain you from your work..."  
  
"No, we will talk now. I have the certain feeling that you would not have sought me out even now, were it not for all those circumstances and the chance that our friendship - and more! - might be at stake. The thought that you might not find the courage to entrust yourself to me again is unimaginably insistent. That is why we need to talk now."  
  
This time Aragorn could take pleasure in a light movement of Legolas' lips. Not quite a smile yet, but nevertheless a beginning.  
  
The ranger put his free hand on Legolas' shoulder. Yes, he would help the Elf to find himself again. He would help him to find joy again.  
  
"Aragorn!!"  
  
Both fellows turned around at the same time to see Elladan and Elrohir run towards them. Aragorn could barely keep himself from groaning loudly.  
  
The twins came to a halt before them and Aragorn noticed in a silent whiff of jealousy that the both of them weren't even out of breath. Elves!  
  
"Mae govannen, Estel, Legolas," Elrohir started the conversation while Aragorn took his hand from Legolas' shoulder. "Ada sent us to look for you. He said you should come to his study immediately. He did not sound very happy, Estel."  
  
Elladan watched his foster brother curiously, a smile sneaking onto his lips. "What did you do again, brother mine?"  
  
This time Aragorn couldn't surpress his groan anymore. "Dear Valar, I do indeed have a very good idea what our conversation will be about. He has probably spoken with Arwen already."  
  
"With Arwen?" Elladan repeated astonished.  
  
"Yes," the ranger confirmed slowly. "I will explain everything to you after my talk with ada. Provided that I am still alive after it, that is."  
  
He turned to Legolas. The Elf was standing passively next to him, as if present and in a certain sense not present at all. As if it was only his body that still graced the earth with its immortal beauty, his mind however seemed far away, not seizable anymore.  
  
'Is this what he meant?' Aragorn asked himself worriedly.  
  
He intensified the pressure on Legolas' hand and the veil around Legolas's eyes clarified a little. "Legolas?" he said unsettled.  
  
"So it is true..." Thranduil's youngest breathed at last.  
  
"What is true?" Elladan asked, now audible impatient - and if Aragorn heard correctly also slightly concerned.  
  
"As I said before: I will explain everything after I have talked with ada." Elrohir snorted but was being content with this statement for the moment.  
  
"Well, then we will bring you ada's study immediately. That way we will be able to hear the news all the sooner!" opined Elladan. "It seems the only ones who do not know about anything are us!" He raised his arms in a seemingly frustrated and desperate gesture.  
  
Aragorn laughed quietly. " For my own wellbeing I think it would be best if both of you did not know anything for the rest of your lives. Or at least for the rest of mine." He added then. After that he turned towards Legolas again. "It is conceivably unfavourable that ada would call me just now. We will meet again at the footbridge one hour before the fest is about to begin, alright?"  
  
Legolas didn't answer.  
  
"Legolas?" Aragorn tried again and Legolas finally blinked before nodding at last. Aragorn detached his hand from the Elf's and marched past the twins to Lord Elrond's study. Elladan hurried to follow him while Elrohir stood still next to Legolas, his gaze fixed upon Legolas' hand, which had held Aragorn's only barely a minute ago.  
  
Realization flared up in such a strong and intense manner that Elrohir couldn't control himself from searching for the amount of truth in Legolas' eyes.  
  
And by the Valar, seeing Legolas looking after the disappearing figures of Aragorn and Elladan which such a longing, his fears were confirmed.  
  
"You love him?"  
  
Legolas looked up slowly.  
  
"So this was the reason you were so horrified when he caught us that morn. It could have been everyone but him, am I right?"  
  
Legolas opened his mouth but no words would come out.  
  
"We thought that you had been ashamed of being stumbled upon in such an intimate position, that this was the reason you ran out so quickly and did not talk to us for the rest of the day. But I see now that we were wrong. You were running after him, were you not?" Ehrohir's voice changed its tune to a higher and louder grade.  
  
"I-" Legolas started uncertain, but was instantly interrupted by Elrohir again.  
  
"You!! Ai, you!! Is that all you think about?! You? Have you even thought about Arwen, about what you are doing to her in the progress?! Just once?!" The twin fumed.  
  
"Throughout the whole time," Mirkwood's child whispered now, but Elrohir waved his words away, not allowing himself to be mislead.  
  
"Were we not friends - nay, almost brothers?!" Elrond's son hissed. "And Arwen! Have you not always looked upon her as a younger silbling? How could you do that to my sister!"  
  
"But I have not done anything!" Legolas sobbed. "All those years I have never done anything!" I tried to endure it until my heart could take no more.  
  
"Years? You betrayed my sister for years?!" Elrohir screamed enraged. Legolas flinched and took a step backwards. He lifted his hands and placed them in front of his face as if to shut himself off from reality.  
  
"You never answered my question, Prince," Elrohir continued in a sneer, "say, does he love you as well? Will he leave my sister for your love?"  
  
Legolas shook his head weakly, not finding the heart to reply. Not finding the courage to tell his friend that yes, the ranger had already left the fair Evenstar. And that it was his fault indeed.  
  
Elrohir snatched at Legolas' hands and pried them off his face. "By the Valar, answer me!!!"  
  
Legolas' lips trembled as he tried to form the words and for the first time Elrohir became aware of the silver traces that ran from the watery eyes down his cheeks. Aware that Thranduil's youngest was crying.  
  
'But he never cries!' Came the sudden thought and shock followed soon after. It was true: in all those years that he had known the young prince he had not seen him weeping once. Not when his mother had died. Not when his friends had died. He had always been the person to support them all. He had always been the person to radiate strength, the one to always smile and tell his friends of bliss when they couldn't see it for themselves anymore.  
  
Elbereth, what had become of this beautiful eternal being?  
  
Elladan could not recognize the proud and self-confident spirit the prince once had anymore. Instead the flame seemed to have diminished and before him stood an insecure person with haunted eyes that were glazed over as if they had not been closed to sleep properly for an eternity.  
  
And now that he watched he also became aware of how pale the fair being had become. And how thin.  
  
"I do not know if he loves me," the prince finally answered, his voice a hoarse croak, nothing like the melodic tune it else was. "I want to hope he does and still I hate myself for hoping although hope is his very name. For if my hope was to be fullfilled, then what would become of the fair Evenstar, who I love like a sister!!" He cried out in anguish.  
  
Elrohir looked at the prince shocked. Then he slowly released Legolas' hands. They fell heedlessly to his sides.  
  
"I am... sorry, my friend. I did not know..." Elrohir said quietly. He took a deep breath before he continued. "But you must understand that I feel for my dear sister as well. I... know that you are as much victim as Arwen or even Aragorn himself, but give me a little time to comprehend..."  
  
With that words he parted from Legolas, leaving him standing on the training ground.  
  
After some minutes he also moved, pursuing the path that lead to the river.  
  
_____________________________________________  
  
SireenC: Yeah, with the holidays I finally get the chance to write again. Thanks for your compliment, I think I am able to describe him because I am quite disturbed myself *lol* But the worst is still yet to come!  
  
Legolas19: Updated fast enough? (I still think my chapters are not weird)  
  
Wicked Samus: Well then I only hope you got to the sixth chapter as well ;)  
  
Gwyn: Oh, wow, such enthusiasm ;) Here's your next update. As always thanks for the review!  
  
Anon-101-6: If you like the changing of the dream then I wonder how you will take what will happen in reality in ... I think in the next chapter! Thank you for your review, I'm always looking forward to them!  
  
Riva van Dyk: Well, of course Aragorn forgives him, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't? ;) The question is, if it's not already too late for Legolas  
  
Zelda Saturn Mistress: Well, in love would be the wrong term, but yes, there's definately something going on between them both. Oh, and I can't just go around killing people. I already took Aragorn from Arwen, isn't that enough suffering for the poor soul? My plot will work even with Arwen still alive (maybe even better with Arwen still alive) ;) Thanks for the review!  
  
Yoink Daydurfurits: Wow, thanks for the review!! Well I will make it right, one way or the other, don't worry! (on second thought maybe you should worry) ;) Thanks again  
  
C0nfus3d: Well you won't have to wait any longer ;)  
  
Sarah Winters: Thank you for your compliment! I hope you like this chapter as well  
  
A.: Thanks, here's the next chapter!  
  
Hikari_Melanie: Don't worry, there *will* be Aragorn/Legolas action, though maybe not in the way everybody wishes it to come forth. And it will be explained who Legolas' mirror image is. Thanks for the comment!  
  
S4r4: Well, uhh... comfort is a foreign word in my vocabulary. At least in this story the most dominate words will be: angst and lots of it! Anyway, thanks for the review!!!  
  
Yumiko: Well, thanks for your comment! Updated soon enough? ;) 


	8. Drowning 8

Disclaimer: in chapter 1-6  
  
Warning: Heed my warnings from the last chapter.  
  
AN: I actually wanted to bring out the chapter before new year but somehow I got sick on new year's eve (how did I know this would happen?) and well, long story short: here's the next chapter  
  
Julia Mönch: Sorry, sorry, gerade dir hatte ich ja gesagt, dass ich vor sylvester fertig werde. Deswegen sei als Entschädigung dieses Kapitel hiermit dir gewidmet *lol* sobald du es gelesen hast, wirst du mich schlagen wollen  
  
____________________  
  
Drowning  
  
- chapter dedicated to Julia Mönch - ;)  
  
____________________  
  
Legolas sat down solemnly when he reached the small footbridge.  
  
Yes, everything looked exactly as he imagined it would look. Everything met his expectations: from the trees which surrounded the river to the tender smell the grass and water spread. Everything fit, everything blent into his dreams. His dream blent into the environment. As if reality and illusion fused and Legolas found himself in a strange twilight which contained both dimensions.  
  
This time however instead of a dead water he was greeted by a twinkling blue that delivered a wonderful game of lights. Yes, it was his dream, yet not his nightmare which he had silently feared. This thought gave him a little courage and courage, Legolas detected, was a quality he needed now more than ever. Courage to face Aragorn, courage to face society and above all courage to face himself.  
  
A soft breath of wind sent his hair over his shoulders and he lifted his hand unconsciously to remove the strand from his face again. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  
  
No, this morning hadn't gone off as he expected in the slightest. He had known a conversation with Aragorn was inevitable, however he had not been attuned to a confrontation with Elrohir. And truthfully it certainly had not gone off to his favours. He couldn't resent the Half-Elf if he was angry at him. Despite his decision to talk with Aragorn he had not done it - had even tried to evade it! - and that was a hard blow to his pride. And as if that wasn't enough he had now also lost a friend, one whom he knew since his very childhood - and dare he say that this was a very long period of time? He still remembered times in which they played all sorts of pranks - and not to forget the times in which they got punished for exactly those tricks.  
  
He had broken the trust, the foundation of their friendship, and it was only right to lose the familiarity in turn.  
  
Elladan too would probably react in the same manner. After all he loved his sister as his twin brother did, consequently he would also stand by her side. Likewise justifiably! It had been him who had hurt Arwen - if not through his deeds then through his throughts alone, and were wrong thoughts not also said to be sin?  
  
Oh, then he had sinned a thousand times and more by hoping and praying and in the end hating himself for it every time after. Perhaps because he couldn't stop hoping and praying despite of that hate.  
  
Until at last his prayers bore fruits. Had he caused it all? Had he ended this relationship that resembled a fairy tale, this reawakened legend? Because of his hope?  
  
Maybe he had reacted unintentionally, maybe he had shown feelings! Maybe Aragorn had recognized them and maybe this was the reason he had parted with Lord Elrond's daughter!  
  
But had they? Parted? What if everything was just a phantom, just a figment of his own imagination? What if he wasn't able to seperate truth from dream anymore and he was currently caught in his dreamworld which turned into his nightmare again just now? Maybe he had lost his sanity long ago and his mind was here while the shell of his body was at a totally different place?  
  
'Stop thinking about things like these, you are maddening yourself!' his inner voice scolded him with a tone of hysteria and panic. 'This is reality! Not just a figment!'  
  
"You are breath-taking."  
  
Legolas' muscles tensed, he didn't turn around.  
  
"Your hair looks like golden silk in the sun." A touch on his shoulder, so soft - as if not real. Legolas' body involuntarily gave a twitch.  
  
"Your features seem more delicate, resemble even that of a She-Elf!" The pressure on his shoulder got stronger, painful and Legolas suppressed the urge to wince again.  
  
"Tell me, do you like being looked upon as a female? It seems you do not even want to defend yourself. So maybe you like other things as well.... things that females usually like. After all you lost your heart to a man!"  
  
Legolas' gaze stayed directed on the river. The only movement that showed that he had indeed registered the words was the tightening of his eyebrows.  
  
"Oh how very regrettable that he has noticed only now that he had lost his to you as well - not that the extend would ever be the same even roughly - nevertheless he lost it to you. In vain because it is already too late for you. You are mine and nothing - and nobody - will able to save you still."  
  
"How is it that you seem to seek me out every time I do not possess the strength to face you coequally? Are you not ashamed of your own cowardice?" the Elf whispered dimly. The poignancy he actually wanted to add to his voice got lost and instead of it the question sounded more like a agonizing complaint. Legolas hated himself for it also.  
  
The reaction was not what he imagined it to be. Instead of flying into a passion as he would have expected, the hand on his shoulder loosened slightly. A surprised and ugly laughter followed.  
  
"Foolish child! Still you understand nothing! It is the lack of will that attracts me! The weakness that fills me with enthusiasm and promises me victory! Better yet: Already promised me. For the victory is already mine and the only thing left to do is to pick up the prey. And why not play with it a little further since it is so extraordinary enchanting?"  
  
The hand moved, slowly slid down his spine to touch naked skin under the substance of his clothing. Legolas turned around abruptly and struck the hand aside. His eyes flashed dangerously.  
  
"You forget who is in front of you!"  
  
His image smirked mockingly.  
  
"How could that be possible since we are the same?"  
  
Again his double edged his way towards Legolas' body and finally the Elf's patience broke like a vase that was flung to the ground.  
  
With a movement faster that the eye of a human could ever perceive he pulled his dagger out of his boot and held it to the creature's throat.  
  
"Do not tempt me!" he hissed warningly, "it is not a weak damsel before you who would give in to everything without defence!"  
  
The figure smiled and lifted his brows. "Legolas, Legolas," he sneered, "praise to your pride, but pride at the wrong place is as foolish as no pride at all."  
  
He reached for the dagger with one hand and contorted Legolas' hand with the other like lightning. Before the Elf could even react, he had reversed their roles and leaned his body towards Legolas while the sharp edge of the blade played a precarios game near Legolas' throat. The Sindar's pupils diminished when the shocked prince discerned the situation.  
  
"I am you. I possess every ability you possess," his mirror image now explained smugly, "but you are right of course. I do choose the moments in which you seem to suffocate emotionally. In which you are hardly able to defend yourself. That is what I am."  
  
"I do not understand," the prince whispered with a trembling voice.  
  
The other laughed. "Because you do not want to understand. Believe me, a part of you has known the truth for a long time now." He moved the blade's tip up and down, ensuring to stripe Legolas' carotid every time.  
  
"And what part would that be?" Legolas tried to distract his image unsuccessfully, futilely hoping for a mistake or an opening.  
  
With the second hand the other skimmed along the seam of the Elf's leggings only to stop at the lacing of his pants. With a forceful jerk he tore at it, the breech yielded. Legolas' eyes widened.  
  
"Why, your heart of course!"  
  
When the hand made a move to slip inside his leggings Legolas struggle for calmness faded as mist would when day broke. Suddenly he didn't care if the blade against his throat represented danger or not. Or maybe he would have cared if he had wasted a single thought at it.  
  
He snatched at the other's wrist with one hand, while he tried to push away his mirror image with the second one.  
  
The dagger was pressed closer to his skin, his senses apprehended the metallic smell of blood.  
  
"Elbereth, let go! Let go off me!" His voice stumbled, his thoughts became fast, slow, again and again, in a rhythm which declined and blossomed and died and became reawakened.  
  
'I suffocate! I suffocate!' a voice screamed, while the other, more reasonable one gasped: 'Breathe! Breathe! Or you might actually suffocate!'  
  
His grip got stronger, when he tried to get a hold onto something real. 'This is not real! Everything here is not real! You go insane! You go insane!'  
  
He felt his heartbeat. Always faster, incessantly faster. Threateningly. Irresistibly.  
  
More! More! Gore!  
  
A sudden pain flamed up in his head, dipped his world into a twinkling white gold of desperation and light. Into a sticking red - like flames or blood.  
  
And finally into a releasing black that absorbed everything.  
  
_________  
  
The first thing he experienced when he awoke again was contentment and warmth. His pulse was still fast - faster than it actually should be - but this time it almost seemed pleasing.  
  
He opened his mouth and panted quietly to calm his raging heart.  
  
Fire spread through his body, thrillingly, demanding, but somehow in a good way. Legolas tilted his head backwards and raised his hands.  
  
His thoughts refused themselves to him, deformed, built anew and still held no meaning. He felt hands on his skin, a hot mouth that followed invisible traces, touched his flesh and set it aflame. He felt lips on his body, playing with one nipple while soft fingers pinched the second.  
  
A strange haze was girding his mind and somewhere in the back of it all he felt a disturbing pain in his head, near his right temple. Had he hurt himself? Had Aragorn brought him back?  
  
Everything seemed so confusing, nothing made sense anymore. But it felt so good, so good. Maybe it was a dream again, a nice dream this time. With Aragorn in his hands. Or him in Aragorn's in this case.  
  
Slowly his fingers encircled the face of his fellow, fumbled timidly, looked for something to hold on to when heat seeked to overwhelm his mind.  
  
"Ara..." His words got lost in soft moans as soon as his companion began to slide his tongue from his stomach downwards, partly nibbling on his skin, partly biting down carefully.  
  
He arched his back unconsciously, thrusting into the caress. "Saes..."  
  
He felt the smile against his skin, when the other complied his wish and lightly caught the tip of his erection with his mouth, tracing senseless patterns on the sensitive head.  
  
Tender hands on his hips prevented him from thrusting back when his love set up an agonizing slow rhythm, taking him, releasing him, taking him, releasing him in ever that laggard scheme.  
  
"Aragorn, saes...." Legolas begged, opening his pale legs to grant more access. "Saes anbre!" [please faster]  
  
According to his wish the sucking increased, the pace got accelerated, he bucked his hips, writhed beneath the touch, yearning for more, begging and pleading for fulfilment.  
  
"Saes, im ú-dartha amanann... Panno nin! Le ertha na nin!..." [Please, I cannot wait any longer... Fill me! Join with me!...]  
  
"How lovely you beg, my prince. Your plea shall be my command."  
  
And finally his mind comprehended. He tried to blink, but somehow his right eye would not open. He lifted one hands to rub at it.  
  
Through a red mist he saw the slender body shift above his own, taking position.  
  
"I did not really intent to knock you out with your dagger, but you seemed to hyperventilate, my dearest," the other purred.  
  
"Olthon... Ad olthon gaer ól...." [I dream... I dream a nightmare again...] Legolas muttered helplessly.  
  
"Nay, you do not dream. I am as real as you are." Legolas felt the hard shaft against his opening and weakly tried to twist away.  
  
"Elves die when violated against their will," Mirkwood's youngest whispered against all hope, despair creeping into his voice. "Their spirits fade..."  
  
Deep blue eyes locked with deep blue eyes. Unforgiving against desperate and hopeless. For seconds, minutes. And Legolas' heart sank.  
  
"It matters not," the other said then. He lifted the Elf's hips.  
  
"You are as good as dead already."  
  
Without preparation he pushed forward, entering him with one hard thrust, and Legolas shrieked when something inside of him tore. He felt his own blood that ironically seemed to lubricate his passage, helping the creature to ease its way into him.  
  
"See? Even your body betrays yourself."  
  
Thranduil's child trembled with the force of the movements. No lover's caress anymore. No loving endearment, nor soothing words.  
  
He heard the other moan in exctasy when he neared release and bit his lip to keep himself from screaming in hate, in rage and disgrace. And most of all in shame. The one and only sense of it all was to humiliate him, to prove to him that he had not only lost control of his mind but also control of his own body, he did know that. But that still not answered the bitter question: If not his body and mind, then what did he have?  
  
With a last push the other came, pumping his loathsome white liquid into him, filling him throughoutly and completely. Legolas wanted to yell and scream and shout, but in the end he did none of it all, enduring everything with silent dignity.  
  
He clenched his fist when the figure removed, dressed up and walked away without uttering a single word.  
  
______________________________  
  
Thanks for all of your reviews! You make my day(s)!  
  
All heil to: Gwyn (I can't be mad at Elrohir either ^_^),  
  
anon-101-6 (well, I doubt you would have guessed that to happen? Thanks so much!),  
  
on3, crazy-lil-nae-nae, lady darkness13, wicked samus, c0nfus3d, SireenC, Yami Meji no Minaraikou, legolas19, kaylie,  
  
riva van dyk (answer to your question already explained in this chapter ;) ),  
  
zelda saturn mistress, mina-chan,  
  
rian(n)a (announcer's voice: will legolas ever find happiness, will the author ever get off of her angst trip? Because as long as that does not happen legolas will continue to hear the mean voices in his head telling him to sing songs from the chart list up and down! :þ ),  
  
silmarien (thanks so much!),  
  
legolaslover,  
  
saiyajin peach18 (oh I once wrote quite a few dragonball fics as well but i have to admit that they are .. well... let's leave it at that and don't say anything further about it ;) Thanks so much for reviewing to every single chapter!),  
  
esmerelda black,  
  
cherry princess (i think I'll allow legolas some romance sometimes in the next chapters),  
  
naru taru (danke danke! Meine englisch lehrerin mag mein englisch auch nicht, keine angst. Liegt wohl daran, dass ich bei all ihren exen und ausfragen ständig fehle)  
  
oh by the way: I tried to translate those Sindarin sentences myself, so they are probably grammaically wrong in every place possible (because I was too lazy to go through the whole Sindarin grammar and just looked up what i deemed neccessary) But since somehow I got into my head that there *had* to be some elvish sentences made by myself alone (with help they would be probably correct) you will have to live with the mistakes. but it *does* look nice, doesn't it??? ;) 


	9. Drowning 9

Disclaimer: Not mine

AN: Sorry it took me this long again. ... . ;;;;;;;;;

Daynight. A game of joy, a game of life. Day turns to night. Night turns to daylight. Burned by your own blood. Scars of your soul, silent, cracked, despoiling. Hushed in its poison.

("What importance does your life hold?")

That voice. The deadly, melodious voice. Oh, how it seemed to reach for him, murmuring softly into his ear: Give up meleth, give up. Come with me and be delivered from pain and torment. Take my hand and unite us again. For we are soul and heart apart.

"It is precious. Valar's gift."

A vague answer which hinted at no profound train of thoughts. As if spoken by a person who had learned to live as the day came. So general, everybody could have spoken those words. But with him, this skinny, delicate figure, it sounded like an affectation. As if a drowning man wouldn't reach for air, had he the possibility to.

His counterpart – how he hated him, how he hated himself, him with the malicious, sneering voice – lifted one eyebrow and watched him with a gaze that gave evidence that he saw right through him. That he knew exactly what Legolas was thinking and feeling. And that both amused him to no end.

Legolas felt enragement sneaking through his body. The rage, the helplessness and in turn rage because of this helplessness.

(„Precious enough to die for it?")

The corner of those lips were moving slightly. Illusion, game of light, reality. Oh, Elbereth. He hated those lips as well.

("Your heart shows you the path you have to follow. Do you not already hear the susurration that incessantly whispers: Give up, give it a try. I will deliver you. I will grant you your freedom one second time, beloved.")

"What will your free me from?" He heard himself ask. With the same soft voice he learned to loathe.

("From yourself. From the world. From the lies that you play with. From the lies that surround you. From the lie that you are.

Does it not hurt you? All this betrayal, all those illusions. Do they not hurt you?

Your soul is yielding. You can feel it, can you not? Of course you can. Your soul is yielding, it wants to follow your heart, wants it so badly. But you deny this asylum. You lock it into this body which is now condemned to perish. Oh, meleth, why do you torment yourself so much? Why do you torment myself so much? The end will only be postponed, not changed. The pain will only deepen, it will not fade despite time's healing arms. Do you want to die in shame, disoriented, deranged, insane – in body and soul? Just take my hand. I will help you. I will avert the dishonor which waits for you. Be quiet and come,

Legolas

Legolas

Legolas.")

„Legolas!"

A dull noise that seemed to drift through water to Legolas' ears. He turned his head sideways and tried to banish the insistent knocking from his thoughts.

„Legolas, please open the door."

He took a deep breath and gripped the blanket closer to his body to drive away the cold which seemed to have found a way into his limbs. Oh, his lids, how heavy they were. How he wished to close them and lose himself in a dreamless illusion, one void of any nightmare.

And how terrifying those thoughts were to him – an Elf! He who had never before felt weariness of life – since life was his constant, eternal companion. He who had never before closed his eyes longer than a short moment, a short heartbeat.

But the desire, the desire grew in his heart. A scream that increased in intensity. An echo. Again and again. Louder, louder – l o u d e r –

(Give up, meleth, give up. Come with me and be freed of pain and agony. Take my hand and unite us once more. For we are soul and heart apart.)

„Legolas?"

Again he did not answer. If only the voice would finally fade away! If only it wouldn't bother him again! He wasn't able to deal with him yet. Was not able to lead the conversation the man in front of his door hoped to get. Not now, not after everything that happened. Not when the pain was still so near and the scar so deep. The pain and the humiliation.

How he made it back to his chambers, he did not know exactly. Sometimes he must have stood up, knowing, that he would have to face Aragorn, if he was to remain on the small footbridge.

Of course he knew that the inescapable conversation was only stalled and as a consequence he would have to bear every minute of waiting in anxious apprehension. Though it seemed a lot better than having the conversation right here and now.

"Legolas, I know youre here, why else would the door be locked? Did something happen?"

The prince pressed his eyelids together and raised his hands to his throat to suppress the scream that he's like to shout out until his voice became hoarse and the night gave way to the day.

His soul lamented - oh, Elbereth - as if its dull rhythm wanted to take over his heartbeat!

(Give up, meleth, give up. Come with me and be freed of pain and agony. Take my hand and unite us once more. For we are soul and heart apart.)

His soul whined. Overwhelmed, overpowered, conquered and dreary. The broken fragments fell in every direction and cut into his flesh mercilessly.

He gasped sharply. The air faded. Pain set into the entanglement of voices that threatened to carry him away. Colours became more powerful, tones louder, screams more hysterical.

'Let go, let go!' warned a melody in the back of his head.

The bow stretched, an arrow cut through the air, shortly before it would shatter its target into thousand shards. In awful expectation the air stick in his throat.

A little bit. A little bit more. Now----

"LEGOLAS!"

He loosened the arms from his throat and choked. His whole body began to tremble uncontrollably while his lungs filled with sweet oxygen again. Lethargy and heaviness enfolded him and befuddled his thoughts. This time, however, the haze had a calming and relieving effect.

Behind a wall of cotton he heard Aragorn's sigh and finally the steps that slowly lead away from his chamber.

But now, that the man went away at last, he wished for nothing more than his presence. His comfort and - may he hope for it - his love.

Everythign seemed so inprecise and unreal. Everything was changed - most of all he himself. He didnt't know where he stood anymore. Didnt't know what was him anymore. He didnt't know what made him any different from this ironic, sarcastic mirrow image anymore.

Weren't they identical? The same features, the same eyes, the same lips. Were they one?

"Aragorn?" A whisper, barely louder than a waft of air that invites leaves to dance.

Legolad threw the blanket carelessly aside and tried to get on his feet. His finger groped helplessly for a grip when his legs threatened to give in under his weight. Something fell to the ground, clanking.

Without paying any further attention he stumbled to the door and opened it with trembling fingers.

"Aragorn?"

"I think he went to the halls already," a female voice advised him. He felt the calming pressure of a hand upon his skin.

"Legolas, you look terrible, what happened to you?"

The prince turned his head and looked at Arwen with faded eyes. She gasped and pulled him closer to embrace him. "Legolas, what is happening with you?" she cried and stroked his hair softly while he remained in her arms unmovingly.

"It calls for me," he answered after a long while. "More and more..."

"What, Legolas? What is calling for you?"

He laid his head slowly on her shoulder. "My heart." He took a shallow breath. It hurt to breathe. "He was right. Heart and soul cannot be apart..."

And slowly... slowly she began to understand what happened to her friend.

"You're fading."

thank you everyone for your nice reviews sorry it took me so long to update (/-)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: again not mine

AN: I finished it. Complete. yay ) go down with a bang!

:ooo:

:ooo:

He wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it. And the reality of it. Actually he did not feel like

laughing at all. He did not know what to feel at all.

"Fair Undomiel you see things that belong to the shadows. Elves belong to the light. Let us

head to the halls and enjoy the company of our beloved ones. My soul is heavy, may it lighten

a bit in the halls of music," he confessed and smiled for her.

There was something so terribly wrong with this smile, though, Arwen noticed. "I pray to the

Valar that you are right, mellon nin," she said seriously and hesistantly took his hand.

The closer they came to the halls, the louder the sounds of flutes could be heard. And a

beautiful melodic voice that certainly could belong to no other than Lindir, the talented

Minstrel of Imladris.

Yet the music rather seemed melancholic than as cheerful as it should. And when the doors

were opened for the Evenstar and Mirkwood's Prince the conversations were hushed and

everyone seemed to look at them in silent wonder of what was about to happen.

Legolas was filled with a sense of dread.

'They know," he thought. 'They know. And that's why they stare. Why do they have to stare?'

Arwen curtsied gracefully and nudged Legolas onward. "Do not let it get to you, Legolas. They

are just surprised at the news. They reacted the same way when I first told them that Aragorn..."

she caught herself and smiled embarrassed. "Anyway just be yourself," she then advised.

He knew that Elrond's daughter meant no accusation. She was just trying to cheer him up, but

that somehow made it worse. She was kind and sweet, despite everything.

"She walks with him," someone said quietly. Affirmative whispers. "She is very strong."

He felt his cheeks flush and looked at the ground. 'I should not have come. Why did I decide to

come?' he paniced. 'I am an outsider amongst my people."

"Do not listen to them," the Evenstar said lowly. "Be strong." She tightened her grip on his hand

in an encouranging gesture and then left him to go to her father's side.

It was the dwarf that called on him first."Elf-friend," he grunted. "Rumour is the Evenstar and

Aragorn parted for your sake?"

Legolas swallowed and turned around to face Gimli. He smiled warily.

"It... might seem that way," he answered carefully, not knowing how to approach the topic.

"Well that certainly is a surprise!" the Dwarf boomed. Then he grinned. "You have my support,

Elf, but I can see a hard time coming for you."

How can it be any harder that is already is, Legolas wanted to reply. How much more is there

to endure?

"Mind if I steal the Prince away for a second?" a second voice broke in.

Legolas breathed a sigh of relief. Aragorn. Finally he was at his side.

"Not at all, lad, not at all." A firm pat on his back and then Gimli mingled with the crowd again.

"You do not look well," the man stated, concerned. "Are you not well?"

"I do not know what to make of this situation. I am not comfotable. People are staring."

Aragorn laughed. "Of course they are staring. Legolas, wherever you go, people will stare at you.

It is just who you are." He smiled tenderly. "Come, let us give them something to really talk about.

Let us dance."

Before he knew it, Aragorn had pulling him to the dance floor. He looked around nervously when he

noticed that the dance floor began to empty and the people were looking at the pair in curiousity.

And then he saw it.

A glipse, nothing more. But he knew it was there. He had seen it. The blond hair. The iceblue eyes.

His panic began to rise. 'Everyone is watching us. Everyone. And also him. Me.'

Aragorn put his hands around Legolas and the dance began.

It was slow at first, the swaying of hips, the coordination of movement.

"They look beautiful together," someone said and Aragorn grinned at him as if to say: "See, didn't I

tell you."

The dance floor filled up again. More and more people joined, occasionally throwing a glance at the pair.

Dancing and laughing and every now and then a shocked glance.

"What happened to him? Why is he so pale? So thin?" Someone asked. A man with blond hair and

blue eyes.

Blurred emotions. Emotions? Was he still able to feel? The world moved in such a strange rhythm.

Fast and slow and always changing. Upside down.

Giggling and joking - and between it all - blackness. Sweet blackness. "Legolas?" A hushed scream.

He didnt't understand.

A sudden pressure around Legolas' arm that pulled him around. "Legolas?"

"Ada! Ada! It's Legolas! He is not reacting! I fear he is fading!" Silent panic in this voice. It sounded like

his own. But he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of anything nowadays. It could have been Elladan's...

He looked up to see who was holding his hand. Iceblue eyes. Iceblue. With blond hair and a smile.

"I am you. Did you finally realize it? Did you finally accept it?"

'I am hallucinating!' he thought, but strangely it didn't seem so bad now.

He turned around. Everyone was laughing. And screaming. Why are they staring? Why are they still

staring?

He covered his face with his free hand and slid down on the floor.

'Please,' he thought, 'please free me.'

:ooo:

:ooo:

"I am broken." He said. Both said. "I am broken."

He did not know what to answer. There was no answer to this simple statement. It was the truth.

He knew it. Both knew it.

"I am broken. Have been broken for such a long time. My existence is full of anguish and pain.

When will you free us? When will you finally unite us again? For we are heart and soul apart."

He remained silent.

"Whatever you will do will not change the outcome, my soul. You are doomed. It is time you

realize it. It is time to let go, Legolas."

_: "Legolas? Legolas!" _

"For so long we have been playing this game of hide and seek. You hid and I found you every time.

Do you not see that there is no place to hide anymore? I am not fiction. I am not an illusion. I am

you. I have always been you. We have been broken apart. Why do you still deny it? Why will you

not take my hand?"

_: "He cannot hear you, Aragorn. I fear we have been ignorant too long. Elbereth, why did we _

_: not see what was right before our eyes?"_

Oh, but he could hear them. The hushed voices, the quiet murmurs. He felt the warm hand that

embraced his own.

"This chaotic world, would you want to relive it again? The sorrowful moments, would you choose

to experience them again? Knowing you were not sane? Knowing your heart has been broken to

pieces? Knowing that only your soul remained, a soul that wished to be united with its counter-

part? A soul that wished to die? For I can promise you this: Should you choose to open your

eyes again, you will not be freed of me. I will follow you wherever you go as long as you live. I long

to be whole again. Why are you still hestitating? What is it that holds you here so firmly?"

_: "He wanted to tell me about his secrets. He said it was his mind that haunted him. I did not_

_: understand what he meant back then."_

A sharp sob. The grip on his hand tightened.

_: "Do not leave me, Legolas. I love you. I love you."_

"A hope," he answered. "Hope is what binds me to this shallow existence."

"A hope," he repeated, they repeated. "Yes, that is his name. The name they gave him. Such an

important meaning he has in our life, our soulmate. I can understand that he calls to the soul as

well. Of course I do. But I do not yearn for him anymore. The heart is beyond repair. You would

love him, yet you wouldn't."

"I will not lie to you anymore. The games have been played, I have been trying to coax you to finally

give up, I will admit this. You will give up eventually, my soul, my prince. But the longer it takes, the

more you will suffer, the more we will suffer.

For without me, you are not able to love him anymore."

"But with you I will not have the chance to ever love him."

"Why would you say that? You have loved him. Deeply. You experienced the joy of being close to

him. You experienced the smiles and the laughter you shared."

"I never experienced being loved back by him. That was all I ever hoped for," he whispered.

"You hoped in vain then. The time has passed when a love between the two of you could have been

possible. Open your eyes and he will love you. He will cherish you. But you will never be able to love

him back again. You would live a lie, every second, every day. Can you live with that?"

"From the lie that you are." Legolas recited. A pause. "Yes, I know now what you meant."

He smiled bitterly.

:oo:

:oo:

:oo:

I think I will leave the story at that. Many of you will certainly think now: wtf this is no endling!

But the thing is: I wanted no real ending. I wanted to let the possibilities open.

I don't think I would have updated this fast again if not for DustBunnies (thank you for your nice

review ) who finally showed me that there was someone who understood the core of this fiction:

That from the very start everything was all about Legolas fading and him himself not realizing

what was happening although the signs were so clear. I wanted to show a different side of the

meaning "fading", a sneaky insanity because the heart was divided from the soul. So yes to

those of you who thought Legolas was shizophrenic: in a sense he was. And yes to those who

thought he was going insane: because in a way he was.

Noone could see his counterpart because he was in Legolas' mind only. This image of himself

Legolas made up himself. That doesn't mean it was not real, because for Legolas it was.

I was just assuming that every Elf experienced fading in an own unique way and wanted to show

the way it could torture the mind of the one fading.

I hope you all enjoyed this fiction

I might consider doing a sequel where Legolas does indeed choose to live for Aragorn, but I doubt

that ending might be any happier than this one XD

If anyone would be interested in reading one, pls tell me, cause honestly I lack the motivation to

write if noone seems interested ..

Again thank you all for your nice reviews. I read every one of them and was glad about every single

one of them. Thank you for reading this story and taking some time to give me feedback, because

this feedback was, what made the story alive to me

:) Thank you.


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